Ep 126 Transcript: The Recovery Conversation Every High Achiever Needs with Jeanne Foot
This transcript was auto-generated and may contain errors in spelling or inaccuracies in the spoken words.
Shauna Lynn Simon (01:49.902)
Hello and welcome to the Real Women Real Business Podcast. I am your host, Shauna Lynn Simon, and today's guest is Jeanne Foote, founder and CEO of The Recovery Concierge. Jeanne and her team support individuals and families through mental health challenges, addiction recovery, trauma healing, and peak performance using a holistic, trauma-informed approach with lived experience and credentials as an international certified alcohol and drug counselor.
Plus training in hypnotherapy, neurolinguistic programming, otherwise known as NLP. You've heard us talk about that on the show, and somatic work. Jeanne is known for helping people build real resilience and sustainable change. So today we're gonna be talking about what recovery can look like in everyday life and why emotional sobriety and nervous system regulation might be some of the most practical leadership tools we have. And don't worry, we're also gonna explain what all those things we just mentioned actually are. So, Jeanne, welcome to the show.
Jeanne Foot (02:44.322)
Thank you very much for having me. It's my pleasure to be here.
Shauna Lynn Simon (02:47.702)
I'm really excited to get into this. And I want to start with talking about recovery because I think there's probably a lot of people who are listening to this and are saying, like, listen, Shauna Lynn, I'm not an addict, I'm not an alcoholic, I'm not recovering from anything. And you actually say we're all in recovery from something. So what do you mean by that? Because we've got a whole lot of high functioning women listening to this who might not be relating to this word recovery quite the same way. So can you explain that a little bit?
Jeanne Foot (03:15.758)
Absolutely. So we're all in recovery from something means we're in recovery from life. I think if we're human, it's just part of our journey is to be messy and imperfect. And so we adapt from with the best of intentions from the environments that we're raised in. And some of us are more stuck than others in certain areas. Like we're multifaceted. Like we can have talents in so many different areas, but yet we could be stuck in one place. Maybe it's around boundaries, maybe it's around, you know, overgiving or, you know, wanting to, you know.
Be a helper to the detriment of our own well-being, which I think women are really familiar with. So I do believe we're all recovering from something. And I think part of that is our own unique spiritual curriculum that each and every one of us gets when we're born. And we're just human. And I think the more we embrace that and the more we recognize that we're all messy, we're all imperfect, I think the better on we can be and the happier we will be.
Shauna Lynn Simon (04:11.246)
Well, I think it's so true though. I mean, there's so many times where I think that like I work with clients, especially people pleasing and boundaries are probably two of the biggest things that come up consistently with my clients. And I actually just had a coaching call earlier today where we had to acknowledge that a longstanding client of my clients is no longer the right fit for their business. And that's a hard thing to realize.
But the people pleaser would like to say, well, we'll just take that client on still, but then you're compromising your boundaries, you're compromising all these different things. And your integrity, your worth, your money, your bank account, your freedom and flexibility because you're going to charge less or whatever that looks like. Like there's just so many things we end up compromising because of this. And so I would say that majority of my clients are what I would love to say are recovering from people pleasing.
Jeanne Foot (04:45.516)
Integrity.
Shauna Lynn Simon (05:05.336)
Like that's probably one of the biggest things I think as women I come across. But to your point, there's so many other things that we're potentially recovering from, things that we we've kind of been pre-programmed, I guess, to feel and it's not even just feeling, but it's this is how you do things. This is the proper protocol or standard or acceptable practice. And we're realizing that things are changing. So like you've talked about like there's some socially acceptable ways that people are often numbing out.
Especially entrepreneurs. And this is how some of this shows up. Is that am I getting this right?
Jeanne Foot (05:41.44)
Absolutely. Well, I just want to go back to what you said is like why we do what we do, the people pleasing and everything. And as children, we take on various archetypes in different families. So for whatever reason, you could be the athlete, you could be the straight A, the academic in the family, you could be the joker in the family, you could be the people pleaser, the caregiver, whatever role. There's very many different types. All of those roles help children in a family feel safe and predictable.
And this is going across spectrum. Of course, there's spectrum in everything I say. Okay. Obviously there's yeah. Yeah. Okay. So a child takes on a role because they know how mom and dad are gonna respond or their caretakers are gonna respond and they know what to expect. Those roles serve a child well. What happens is when we don't outgrow those roles and we're now adults and we're still playing the people pleaser, or we're not speaking out because we think nobody wants our opinion in the boardroom.
Shauna Lynn Simon (06:16.404)
Not everything fits into nice neat little box.
Jeanne Foot (06:40.396)
This is where it's going to fall apart. And so what happens is it gets you so far. And what people typically do is they trade their authenticity for attachment. They want secure attachment. I want to be liked. I will know that I'm safe in this crowd. And so it doesn't really matter if I don't really think I'm all completely on board. I'm just going to go with it until you can't stand it any longer. And that's when people have a spiritual awakening of some sort and they go, okay, I need to do something different.
Shauna Lynn Simon (07:07.97)
Well, and I think what's interesting too, like you talk about how this came from childhood, and I think people don't realize is some of the triggers that end up putting them into those positions where they fall into those natural patterns, like they might not even recognize them as being a particular trigger or pattern. And it's funny. So what you had me think about when you're talking about that is my mom and I have always been quite close, except for when I was a teenager and I was an absolute nightmare of a teenager.
With my mom. My dad and I got along great, but my mom and I, we butt heads and she had to be the mean person and everything. And of course, naturally, because I was a teenager, I knew way more than my mom did. As an adult, we've lived in separate cities for most of my life, but we would spend like extended periods of time together. And she now actually lives in my city. So I see her even more. And when I first moved her to my city, I can remember having to stop and pause at moments because I would respond to her in a way that was similar to what a 16-year-old child.
what how she would respond. And I would have to stop and pause and say, Mom, I'm really sorry. That that wasn't quite appropriate. I somehow reverted back to a 16-year-old and snapped at you. And that was so disrespectful and so inappropriate. And she of course always appreciated that I caught myself. But it was this interesting thing that because we were spending so much more time together, I had to identify the fact that I was doing this so I could change the pattern. And it was something that I didn't even realize I would revert into that.
Because something that she would say or do would just send me back to the 16-year-old self. And so I feel like there there's probably like a lot of things that we're doing that we don't even realize someone has said or done something that kind of just immediately like we revert, like this is familiar. This is where I need to hang out here. And we probably don't even realize some of those triggers. I don't know if trigger is quite the right word for it.
Jeanne Foot (08:51.852)
No, you actually brought up something really important. Firstly, in significant relationships, so parents and children, and obviously marital relationships or partnerships, right? You're gonna see that kind of behavior. And the reason you see it is it's actually science. Your brain actually is altered by significant relationships. So you do revert back. That's why you you may not even need to be in the same house.
Okay. The same dynamic plays out, right? It's maybe with whether it's rolling the eyes or hands on the hips or the attitude or whatever it may be for each and every one of us, or you know, overextending or in various different ways. But it is literally is science. It's significant relationships and it's part of our attachment and secure attachment. And there's all different attachment theories, right? Around that styles rather, I should say. But that's exactly what's happening. so normal. And good for you for apologizing, right?
Shauna Lynn Simon (09:44.578)
Always. always. If there is one thing I do, it is I own with anyone in my life. If I say the wrong thing, whether it was intentional or not, I always own it and yeah, absolutely.
Jeanne Foot (09:54.934)
So many don't. I'm like you in that respect. I owe my stuff. I owe my side of the street, as they would say, but many don't.
Shauna Lynn Simon (10:02.178)
Don't get me wrong, if I have said something that I stand behind, I will not apologize for it. I don't care if it's offended someone. However, if I feel that I could have approached something from a more delicate standpoint or phrased it a little bit better, I will absolutely own that. But I don't always apologize for my opinion necessarily, just maybe the way that I delivered it might be more what I'm apologizing for. So going back to, you know, you talk about people kind of numbing out, what is happening where we're sort of numbing out? Because you mentioned there's some socially acceptable ways that we see people.
doing this, especially entrepreneurs, like the overworking and things like that. Like explain a little bit about this because I think there's probably people listening to this who don't realize they are numbing out because like they're thinking I'm productive.
Jeanne Foot (10:41.41)
I think work is the most respected addiction ever. There's a very practical sense to it. Like you need to provide for family. It may be something, especially if you're an entrepreneur, you're in love with what you do. Yeah. But at the end of the day, if it's taking you many, many hours away from what is truly important, like I can self-confess workaholic after many other, you know, I love what I do. But at the same time, there has to be balance in my life. And when there isn't that balance in your life, because you're working like, you know,
40, 50, 60 hours a week, it can be damaging. But I think the most important way or the most nuanced way, I would say, of numbing out is really being disconnected from oneself to bypass the present moment. And I think we're set up for the world to go against that, right? With technology. We're set up to be a victim to our own devices. In fact, last night I was just thinking for the first time.
Do I want to even do some sort of digital detox? I thought, what would that be like? So it hadn't even hit my radar, but I feel like it there's a lot on there. Whether they're great apps or not, doesn't really matter. There's news as in my email. And I'm really working with essentialism right now, where I'm actually rolling back and really looking at how I'm spending my time, what is important, working in flow, you know, where is my best energy and vitality in a day and all of these different aspects, right?
So I'm really looking at my habits and I've come far. Like it you know, unlearning is a process too. It takes a long time. It takes time to sort of unlearn habits. And I think you get just get better at it, but it does take time.
Shauna Lynn Simon (12:15.79)
Yes yes.
Shauna Lynn Simon (12:23.488)
It's interesting that you say that though, because first of all, I will say for anyone who's listening to this, if you also get heart palpitations at the thought of doing a digital detox, you're not alone. Cause anytime someone mentions that, I just get immediate anxiety of like, I love that for you. Like that's kind of where I want to go with that of like the thought of doing a digital detox. But then I also remind myself though that I think to your point, like we're all a little bit different. We're all kind of, you know, figuring out where our flow state is, how we achieve that, what that looks like.
I am someone who runs every single day. I run about 40 to 45 kilometers a week. That means that I'm running approximately four to five hours every single week, if not more. This is like kind of my average state. I go for a walk at least two or three times a week. I have downtime with my mom, with my friends. I also don't have a TV. I shouldn't say I don't have a TV. I technically have a TV in one room of the house.
I will put it on as background noise sometimes, but I'm not really actively watching TV. So if for me, I still need my phone, but I'm looking at my phone, my phone doesn't have any games. I do spend some time on social media, mostly work related. The rest of the time I'm not really doing much, although there are some great runners that I do follow that are hysterical. So, you know, that is a fun little zone out thing to do. But the point that I'm making is as much as it might give me a panic attack to think that I'm gonna do a digital detox, I'm also making improvements in other ways.
to find ways to connect more with myself, to connect more with my friends and family and feel like I'm not just working all the time. Like all of my like when I like, but like talking about the apps, well, Audible is one of my apps. And I need my audio books because that's how I consume most of the information because I don't sit down with a book necessarily. I don't have that kind of time necessarily. So I think we all find kind of our ways of doing things. But I like what you're saying though about kind of figuring out like what are we addicted to? Cause there's still plenty of things that
Jeanne Foot (13:56.45)
That's vital.
Shauna Lynn Simon (14:18.253)
Yes.
Jeanne Foot (14:18.622)
Well, food is one. Definitely food is one. And it's tends to be more related to women, not typical, stereotypical. But you know, where you've got for men it's sex or porn or yeah. Gambling is I think is neutral for both unisex now. But I think work is something that we reward so naturally. And I think we've got that wrong, completely wrong.
Shauna Lynn Simon (14:42.86)
You're not wrong about that. I think it's hard for us to wrap our head around that sometimes, though, because this sounds like it's maybe not a healthy thing. Like we know that overworking is unhealthy, but we're being productive, we're making money, we're saving the world in some way, we're helping others. Like that doesn't sound like it should be a negative thing. But I mean, just at the same time, my running is an addiction that is technically a positive addiction, only if I'm doing it in a healthy way.
Running can also be a terrible addiction, especially if I'm running away from something. If I'm using that as an excuse to run away from something or hide from something. Like, and it's not. Most runners, that's actually how we process things, but it's my addiction. If I don't run in the morning, I have a much more difficult day mentally. So like that is an addiction the same way.
Jeanne Foot (15:27.768)
I agree with you. And I think that really if you were to ask me what is the all-time addiction right now, I think we're addicted to busyness. And it's the there's a an a dis-ease in just being quiet. And that's what made me think about, you know, those quiet moments of like, if I didn't have a phone, what would I worry about? Probably far less. Like far less.
Shauna Lynn Simon (15:53.07)
You remember those days? Yes were lovely.
Jeanne Foot (15:55.982)
So I that's what got me thinking about it, but I think we're all programmed now to respond quickly, to know everything.
And initially when I was much younger and it was newer, I was more like a high. It was like, yeah, it it's like that dopamine spike all the time, all the time, all the time. But eventually when you you sort of overuse something, it can be counterproductive. And I think that's where we're at right now. We're in the you think it's busy now. We're just you're entering AI age, right? And stage of life. And even in probably between 2026 alone, that's become tenfold how it's used, and it will continue to escalate.
So I think we're, you know, information overload is going to be something that we're all gonna suffer from. So is how do we manage that in a way that feels real and nourishing for us, that is not gonna be counterproductive and anxiety producing?
Shauna Lynn Simon (16:49.198)
So is this what you mean when you talk about emotional sobriety? Is this sort of you're thinking about a sort of detox from some of these things? Okay.
Jeanne Foot (16:54.498)
Yeah, partly. So emotional sobriety is really about, you know, having emotional resilience and skills and tools to handle what is. So discernment would be one. Yes, absolutely. to know what works and what doesn't work for you. And always just because it's always been some way. I think a lot of people get stuck on, you know, we've always done it this way, so we're gonna continue that way. Well, we get to change our minds. We can change the rules. It doesn't mean that we signed up for a life sentence on anything if it was always this way.
We can outgrow things, right? And I think people get stuck there and they feel guilty. And especially around children. I've had my own share with adult children. Like, okay, I've overgiven in some areas, but you know what? I don't need to at this stage. I can express what's important to me and we can have a dialogue around it, right?
Shauna Lynn Simon (17:40.35)
Right. So you can course correct at any time essentially.
Jeanne Foot (17:43.374)
Absolutely. But I think emotional sobriety really is about having the tools and resilience to really know what we need and want. And rather than shutting down and reverting back to like that 16-year-old self, right, at times, right? Whatever. And like we all do it. We all can be like back in a second, right? It doesn't take much knowing when we're heightened or triggered emotionally.
How do we hold on to ourselves in those moments? How do we not let other environmental factors, whether it's people, whether it's the environment we're in, whether it's the activity we're doing, take over that we lose ourselves, we abandon ourselves, or suddenly we become people pleasers, or suddenly, you know, our anger has taken the better of us, or whatever it may be, we have to learn how to hang on to ourselves because the only thing we can control is ourselves, right? Like
Shauna Lynn Simon (18:34.53)
That's it. So the sobriety is more like a stabilization essentially of your emotions. It's not to say that these emotions aren't going to exist, but helping to ensure that they're not spiking in the same way and that we're able to manage them and navigate them. And it doesn't mean that you're not going to have highs and lows. I mean, that's just a part of life, obviously. But is is that sort of what you mean then by emotional sobriety?
Jeanne Foot (18:52.526)
Emotional sobriety is that. It's being able to navigate the volatility of those emotions and you have the tools now to do it appropriately. Right. But I think what happens with any emotions, like we are waiting for all our triggers to go. No, they're gonna recede and they're not gonna have the same hold on us emotionally when let's say you you go into a specific circumstance or you meet a certain person who really let's say is just truly toxic to you. You choose not to
be in their life, but maybe you're brought together by circumstance. So in that way, that person would not have the same grip on you as you would have in the earlier days. Like they're almost like they're in the background and you can barely see them. It doesn't really matter anymore. They they're they're not renting space in your head, if you know what I'm saying.
Shauna Lynn Simon (19:39.762)
and I love that term, like that phrase of renting space in your head or taking up real estate in your head because I go through this with my clients all the time. And I get it, like sometimes something just festers with you. But I'll say to them, like, why are you letting this take up real estate in your head? There are plenty of other things that you can be focusing on. Why are you letting this this sit with you? And sometimes I think it makes sense to evaluate, well, why is this getting the space and attention in my head that it is? Because sometimes it's something else.
not that actual situation. It's something that is triggered or something like that. But yeah, sometimes we can't let other people dictate what's going to take up space in our head because that gets overwhelming. Like when we're that goes back to that people pleasing, like there's only so much we can do to please others. And ultimately I'd love to say that I spend all my days not worrying about what anybody thinks. Of course I care what people think, but not enough to let it take up that much space in my head.
Jeanne Foot (20:32.118)
But it's interesting because I know for myself, like you can have more strength when you're emotionally resilient. There's an acronym in addiction treatment called HALT, hungry, angry, lonely, tired. And I say S, which is stress. If you're any one of those things, you're gonna respond very differently. I know for me personally, I'm like a cantankerous child. If I'm tired, my response is gonna be very different than if I'm my normal self.
So it's the same with hungry, like my my daughter would you're hangry or something like that, right? You know what I'm saying? So we have to know where we are at at times because we can respond very differently. What I do and I suggest to people that if they're struggling from a HALT situation and something comes up and you really fatigue because our decision fatigue increases as we go through the day, which is one of the reasons why people can't.
you know, eat that chocolate cake, can't put down that drink, whatever it is, or just fight with their spouse one more time, is because there's no resolve to or strength to do it any differently.
Shauna Lynn Simon (21:33.408)
Right. The battery's drained essentially and they need to recharge it before they can actually.
Jeanne Foot (21:37.07)
Absolutely. So if you're faced with a a decision one has to make and you happen to be in that state, then I suggest what I call put it in the parking lot. You're gonna deal with it. Just throw it in the parking lot knowing that you're gonna circle back to it at a different time. That's why people say sleep on it. You'll feel better in the morning. There's this truth to that. You're restored, you're renewed. You can actually say, that's not such a big deal. Yeah, I can take care of that. Boom, right? And out the door.
Shauna Lynn Simon (22:03.49)
And to be fair, not everything can land in the parking lot, but you gotta go.
Jeanne Foot (22:07.936)
Absolutely the bigger decisions. The bigger decisions. Like don't rush into the decisions. They deserve the time that they need and the right evaluation, I guess that's what I'm saying.
Shauna Lynn Simon (22:19.298)
Yeah. And I think some people kind of pride themselves on like, I make quick decisions. Like, that's great in certain circumstances. But if everything is a quick decision, are we spending enough time checking with our gut? Are we reviewing what actually makes the most sense for you in that particular situation? Are you reacting based on some past experiences and maybe you're not coming from the best place? And yeah, are you hungry, angry, lonely, tired, or stressed? Because all of those things impact it. And because our audience is predominantly women, I am in perimenopause.
And there are days where I can't figure out why I feel agitated because I am someone who is so self-aware. They'll be like, I can usually tell like this event happened. Like maybe it was a client I really wanted to work with and they said no for whatever reason. Like those ones, you know, they kind of sit with you for a little while, but I usually move pretty quickly from that to a more positive, like, all right, makes up space for the next person, you know, it's fine. But every once in a I'll just have those days where I'm just like holding on to something because my perimenopause just has me in a mood.
So there's also that part that sometimes like all those other factors, I'm not hungry, angry, lonely, tired, or stressed technically, but my body, my hormones are shifting a little bit of my body's like, actually, you are gonna be a little stressed today, whether you like it or not. But it's not that there was a specific trigger for it necessarily either. So I think it's important that we do check in on ourselves to ask ourselves like, what is my current state? Like Tony Robbins is big about talking about like managing your own state because we're the ones who are responsible for how we show up.
Jeanne Foot (23:43.648)
State is incredibly important. And I think most of us don't pay enough attention to it. I think we have this maybe
crazy expectation that we're supposed to be in the right space or the good mood every single time. I'm fairly even tempered, but I do know what it's like to feel flat at times. Yeah. And it usually comes back to either there's too many demands coming at me at the same time or I'm just not well rested, one of the two. And I'm noticing that as I get a little older. But I think that we need to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. And we're not as humans. We're wired to be comfortable.
That's what we want to do. We repel against anything that's not comfortable. That's why people get, you know, they're more comfortable with their negative thoughts of what it is in the area that they know to be true, rather than be in an area that provides opportunity, great opportunity, in fact, but it could be very uncomfortable. So that's why people recall back, right? They go, Okay, I'm good here. It's like better the devil you know than the devil you don't. That's why people don't jump relationships really quickly, right? For that reason. Because
They're not happy, but they're staying with something because they know it to be true and comfortable.
Shauna Lynn Simon (24:51.118)
All right, so now that we've identified some of the patterns that people are practicing within some things that we're seeing, I want to dig in a little bit to how do we start moving forward from some of this? And we're going to cover this as soon as we come back from the short break.
Alright, welcome back to the Real Women Real Business Podcast. We're talking about emotional sobriety. We're talking about different triggers and managing your state. And all of this, like I think now that we've kind of identified, okay, like there are times where we're not necessarily showing up as our best self, we're making decisions from a place that is not fiscally responsible for us. It doesn't make the most sense for us necessarily. We're decision fatigued. We're
Actual fatigued, we're hungry, we're angry, we're lonely. We talked about the whole HALT thing. So now that someone's identified, like, okay, I understand, you know, like my batteries drained in some way, or I'm not making the best decisions. Like, what are some of the solutions? I guess is like, how do we recover? Where's the recovery part? Where are we getting started here? How do we come out of these toxic patterns?
Jeanne Foot (26:37.132)
Well, it's a great question. And I think the answer is gonna be very jarring for some people because it's gonna feel counterintuitive to what you know. So for me, I really speak from first hand experience. I've always been a very high achiever. I've always, you know, I've been in recovery for 33 years. I've been a path self-discovery, growth, trauma healing, dysfunction, mental health, all the things, generational healing. And for me, I prided myself in.
producing and doing and making money and being an entrepreneur. I was an area that I just happened to be successful at. I loved it too, because I loved the creative aspect of it as well. However, I don't have the stamina in my mid to late 60s that I did 30 years ago. So, you know, I've only just really felt it this year. And that's because I'm still going at full speed. So when I say it's counterintuitive, what I mean is we need to slow down to go fast.
We need to work from a flow state, not from a grind and hassle stage. And a lot of us have been taught that, especially myself, I'm speaking for myself, that when our value is in what we produce or what we achieve as opposed to who we are being, I think it's gonna be hard for you to break from that state. And I had to go through that as well. That I still have value, even though I'm not doing that.
Even though I may want to do all those things, say, okay, so yeah, I'm intrigued, I'm interested. And so slowing down to go fast was allowed me to have space, allowed me to have thinking time, recognizing that there are trade offs in life. You can't really have it all. You think you can have it all, but there are trade offs in life.
So like, what do I mean by that? It doesn't mean you design a life that feels half baked. It means that you really design a life that's important to you at this stage of your life or whatever it is that you're doing in your life. Okay. So there I mean you may have to pick between one project or another project. You may have to say this is a me chapter now. Like I just went through my own coach and she says, Well, I called it Project Jeanne. That's what where I'm at right now. This is the project. I'm the project. I can still do great service. I can still create a legacy. I can still but
Jeanne Foot (28:50.998)
Unless I really start to pour in more into me, give myself the space to think, to read, to discern, to feel well rested, I'm never going to be able to really understand anything but what the next right move is. And so I think that's a really important part. And it we're not programmed to really want to do that.
Shauna Lynn Simon (29:15.234)
No, and that was really well said. I'm so glad that you brought that up because it is so true. We're we're almost taught to power through. And let's go back to childhood when you were doing your homework. If you got stuck on something and you decided you wanted to get up and walk around to try to figure things out, what were you told? Sit back down and finish your finish your homework, right? But that's actually not the most productive. And don't get me wrong, I'm not giving parenting advice just to be clear. Everyone knows I got cast my children. So this is not parenting advice, but we've
Jeanne Foot (29:43.022)
We've evolved as parents.
Shauna Lynn Simon (29:44.43)
We've evolved, yes. And the point is that just that we were programmed to think that powering through was the right solution. Like when things get hard, you keep going. And in some cases, yes. Like what you were saying about if things are uncomfortable, you gotta keep going through the discomfort because that's a part of the process. But it doesn't mean always powering through when you don't have the energy, when you don't have the time, the desire. There are limits to what you can actually power through because you do have to check in with yourself and see what is it that you
need right now.
Jeanne Foot (30:14.816)
I think that's where nuance comes in. We tend to be black or white thinkers, right? Okay, it's power through like if you don't sit down, am I not disciplining my child right? No, you that child can still find the answer or they can still do their homework, but maybe it's not in the same way you envisioned, right?
Shauna Lynn Simon (30:30.19)
And I think that's just it is definitely an adjustment, I think, for all of us to realize. Like I am a big believer. It's one of the reasons why I go for walks. There are times where I'll be sitting here and I'll be like, like just keep going. Like you don't have that much left to do. But like let's say I'm looking at something and saying, this is gonna take me maybe forty five minutes to finish. But I'd be willing to bet if I went for a twenty minute walk, it would only take me twenty five minutes to finish. Just spent the same amount of time.
Jeanne Foot (30:53.582)
Exactly the point I'm trying to say. Yeah. You actually gain more time. If it feels very counterintuitive. You're going, how what? I get to sleep in, I get to rest, I get to work out. Yes, you do. Because you're putting your really your own oxygen mask on first because otherwise you're working from depleted reserves. And there's studies have shown that when you work from that state, you're not as effective as you we think we are. Exactly. We're really not. So you just diminish whatever it is that you're trying to achieve.
Shauna Lynn Simon (31:23.33)
Yeah, absolutely. Don't get me wrong. I think there's always going to be times where you've got like a product launch coming up or you know, a special project that you're working on. And sometimes we do power through because we're excited to. We don't want to stop on things. But even a five minute reset, then like that's when I give myself a little like five minutes walk around. You know what I find is one of the most therapeutic ways to take a break sometimes is I'm gonna go clean the bathroom for a minute. Like that doesn't take very long to do. But now I'm half year.
But you feel good because my bathroom's clean and it gave my mind a little bit of a break, and now I can come back and do some work. So sometimes it's not about taking hours off, taking a nap. Like it can look a little bit different, but sometimes it is that kind of recharge. Go get yourself a mani and pedi. Some people recharge with friends. I don't always recharge socially. That's not something I get a lot of energy from other people. But if I'm trying to do like a small social gathering, that can sometimes drain me more than charge me. So like
You got to know what's going to recharge your battery and go out and find it, go out and get it. We've got to be responsible for how do we make sure that we're constantly showing up in our best state. And I think one of the reframes that I've used with myself and with my clients is anytime I get on a client call, I could be having a terrible day. I could have like, you know, just receive the worst news. I'm dealing with emotional stress or whatever, but I'm going to spend a few moments resetting my nervous system and getting into the right state.
before I get on that call with a client. And this is something that if I can do that for my clients, why can't I do it for myself? And that's the reframe that I need to use of like, I know if I'm getting on a client call, I know that I need to spend a little bit of time to reset myself. But when it's just me, if I'm just powering through, so to speak, I don't take the time to reset sometimes. And so I have to remind myself like, you are your client right now. You want to show up as the best self for yourself right now.
What you need to do that? And I think that's one thing before we sign off here, I'd love to talk a little bit about the nervous system and how do we regulate that nervous system? Because that's one of the most powerful things that we can do as leaders. And I think it's something that isn't talked about enough, isn't taught enough that people don't have the tools to do this.
Jeanne Foot (33:33.634)
Well, they don't understand it, so the the importance of it. So you've said something you are your own best client always. Nervous system regulation really came from Stephen Porges, who understood that there's a new pathway in the nervous system that was the vagus nerve. And so you've heard about vagus nerve and vagus nurturing. And so basically we have three brains. We have our obviously our head brain and we have a gut brain and we also have heart brain. Our gut brain has
tremendous amount of hormones and chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, all of that, which is one of the reasons why people say, I have a gut instinct, or you know, they're feeling sick in many different ways. Or if you look at your heart, for example, heart coherence really means either it's integrated. So when someone's in love, they have heart coherence. When you have a new baby, there's heart coherence. When there's a loss, you literally feel like your heart is broken.
Yes. So what we've done over the years is we've really worked from the neck up. We've worked from the head and the body as if they're two disseparate organisms. They're one. And we really need to start recognizing that. I think medicine needs to recognize it as much as people in general. And that's part of the issue. I think we're getting there slowly, but it it's slow. And so what happens is our intel, we thought used to come from our top down. It comes from body up. So what they call neuroception.
Is basically the sensations you're feeling in your body. So your muscles are tight, or you feel a little achy, or you feel like you're sick to your stomach, or whatever that may be, you know, it can be anything and everything for different people on different circumstances. But what's happening is that intel fires up to the brain. So what's happening is people are not paying attention to all of this and they're running on autopilot, hydroplaning through their life as if, you know, I'm gonna get how many people do you know driving their cars and not in their car?
Like yeah, I know I've been there too. I've been guilty of that. Like you suddenly you know you're not paying attention, you go, I missed my turning or whatever, right?
Shauna Lynn Simon (35:34.979)
Or I arrived at my destination, but I do not remember how I got here. Yeah.
Jeanne Foot (35:38.242)
Yeah, you're you're you're deep in thought, right? Yeah. So we need to be aware. So neurosception and awareness of attunement to what are we feeling? What are we feeling? Because once we know what we're feeling, we can understand what we're thinking. It happens a split second before. So nervous system regulation is really bringing you back into more of a coherent state, an integrated state. So most people are in a stress response, which is sympathetic nervous system. We want to be in what we call a parasympathetic nervous system state. So that is the
calm state. That's where digestion happens. That's where, you know, you feel coherent and you have this creativity rises and everything sort of goes in flow. That's where flow happens in a parasympathetic state. So I think the moral of the story is, you know, I always say to my clients as well is that you want to be your own best science experiment. You don't have to do the any of this perfectly. You don't have to be a scientist either to understand it. You just have to be curious enough to say, hey, what's going on for me?
What's you know, what what am I feeling? When you're trying something new for the first time, like meditation and breath work is the most accessible resource ever. It is so accessible and so cheap and fast. It has the biggest transformation for your buck. What does it harm you to try it for a few minutes to see if maybe this is for you? And I don't say once and done. I'm saying come back to it because maybe you're you might write off something that's really good for you.
But I think we just have to get more curious about ourselves, how we're wired, what makes us do what we do, why we say what we say, and just look at ourselves as this big science experiment and let us be the scientists who observe it all.
Shauna Lynn Simon (37:19.618)
Just get in tune with it. Yeah. No, I really like that. And you're absolutely right. I think that, you know, maybe meditation isn't for you. Maybe breath work isn't for you. Maybe journaling is, maybe going for a walk or sitting having a cup of tea. Like what is it that works for you? Everyone's going to be a little bit different, but identifying first of all, what am I feeling? And then figuring out what tools do you want to have in your toolbox to draw on when you have those feelings. So figure out what works and then be able to pull on that anytime that you need it.
So if someone's listening to this episode today, and one thing that I probably should have mentioned sooner, but a big part of our audience is what we call "Accidental CEOs." So a lot of these women essentially they followed more passion than plan. And so sometimes, you know, things start getting busy, but we don't necessarily like have all the right tools in place for all of that. So I think what we're talking about today is really important for these women to hear because I think a lot of people are probably identifying.
now more than they did at the at the start of the episode when we said when we talk about recovery they're like wait but i'm not addicted to anything wait a minute actually there might be some things going on here so what is one thing that we want to leave them with today what's one tool that we want them to have if they take nothing else from this episode what's the one thing you want to make sure they take with
Jeanne Foot (38:31.806)
I think the one thing I would want to take with women is that do not believe your own narrative you're in a story. Like you are absolutely capable of anything. And I think that we we tend to really shoot on ourselves. So we're very, very hard. I would say treat yourself like you would treat your best friend. Yeah. It's hard.
Shauna Lynn Simon (38:49.518)
Yes. Yep. No, but I have said it numerous times and I love it when someone else says it because you don't always need to hear it from me, but so true. Someone that you genuinely care about, that you genuinely want to see well and happy, how would you treat them?
Jeanne Foot (39:05.376)
When I'm actually with a client, I just gonna say this in closing, but when I'm with a client, it's the first thing I see is I try to reflect to them what I see in them. I see the light in them. And if only they could see it, they'd never play so small. So you want them to see that very early on.
Shauna Lynn Simon (39:22.946)
Yeah. So and it's always always easier for someone else to see it in us than for us to see it sometimes. And I think it's important that yeah, we're giving ourselves a little bit more grace and compassion. The same grace and compassion that we give to others. So amazing. Jeanne, if someone wants to find you, what's the best way that they can get in touch with you?
Jeanne Foot (39:39.5)
info@therecoveryconcierge.com and if you go to therecoveryconcierge.com and there's some freebies there as well.
Shauna Lynn Simon (39:47.502)
Wonderful. Some great free resources. We'll make sure that we have that link in the show notes. Jeanne, I can't thank you enough for joining me today. This was such a fantastic conversation and one that I think that we definitely were overdue to have. So thank you so much. I appreciate you joining me.
Jeanne Foot (39:59.768)
Thank you very much, Shauna Lynn. It was a pleasure.
Shauna Lynn Simon (40:02.402)
Wonderful. And listen, if you're listening to this episode and what we've been saying here today is resonating with you, I do hope that you will continue to tune in each week. We drop new episodes every Tuesday morning at 7 a.m. Eastern time. And please let us continue to be a part of your journey. We're thrilled to be on this journey with you. Don't forget to leave us a review or subscribe to us wherever you get your podcast on your favorite podcast platforms. And of course, as always, the best way that you can show your support, not only for this podcast, but for your fellow women entrepreneurs is who do you know right now?
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