Ep 72 Transcript: The New Networking Strategy That Actually Works with Melissa Snow

This transcript was auto-generated and may contain errors in spelling or inaccuracies in the spoken words.

Hello and welcome to the Real Women Real Business podcast. I'm your host, Shauna Lynn Simon, and today's guest is someone who's going to completely change how you think about growing your business. I've got Melissa Snow with me. She is a business relationship strategist and the founder of the powerful women rising community. So after building and scaling two successful businesses of her own, Melissa discovered something that most entrepreneurs miss, and that is that the most sustainable way to grow your business isn't through

complicated marketing funnels or expensive ad campaigns, but through, get this, authentic, real human connections. I know, shocking. So she's now on a mission to revolutionize networking by teaching women how to build genuine relationships that fuel business growth without the whole, you know, sleazy, pushy tactics that we've all experienced. And she calls it networking like a human, not a salesy weirdo, which I absolutely love. And trust me, if you've ever felt uncomfortable with traditional networking, this conversation is going to be a game changer for you.

And I should also mention that she's also the host of the popular Powerful Women Rising podcast. And she lives in Colorado with a couple of dogs, cat, and any number of foster kittens, which as of the recording of this episode apparently is six. Of course, we've already talked about that because she is our kind of people. So, Melissa, welcome. Hi, thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to talk to you and your cats.

Yeah, so you've already had a brief introduction to at least three out of the four cats hanging around here, which is so funny. I feel like cats just know other cat people because they are normally sleeping during this time. And meanwhile, of course, I get onto this call and immediately they're like, we need to check this woman out. We hear she's got a lot of cats in her house. So but to keep the conversation a little bit more focused, we're going to be talking about networking. So let's start with something kind of let's go back to the basics. What is your definition of networking? Just because I think everyone has kind of a different

Association with it. Yeah, absolutely. Especially people who feel like they have tried networking and they don't like it I think they have a different idea of what networking is and there's different types of networking too, right? There's like there's groups where it's like let's get to know each other and this is really more friendship and sisterhood and supportive community and then there's other groups that are more like leads groups or referrals groups where it really is how many people did you send me how many one-on-ones did you have how much money did you make for us and

That's really the focus. ⁓ networking to me is really any opportunity that you have to create a connection with another person. So I say that networking can happen outside of networking events. It doesn't just happen at traditional networking groups. You are networking when you are hosting a podcast or guesting on a podcast. You're networking when you're speaking. You're networking on social media. So there's a lot of different ways to do it. It's really about like

creating that authentic connection with another person. And I love that you've clarified exactly that because it's all about relationship building. But I think that we've come to almost associate networking with networking events like it's that specific and intentional thing. And we've all done the awkward standing at these events, trying to balance maybe a small plate of food or a plastic cup of wine while you're introducing yourself and trying to remember what the heck your 30 second elevator speech is like, it's just awkward.

and uncomfortable and honestly relatively unfruitful most of the time in my experience. And I'm sure there's some great events and don't get wrong, I have definitely attended a lot of great events where I've had some great networking, but they were rarely an actual quote unquote networking event. So what does it mean then to network like a human as opposed to a salesy weirdo? Basically don't do all the things I was just talking about. That's exactly what I was just about to say.

I think I love the phrase salesy weirdo because anytime I say it to another business owner, they know exactly what I'm talking about. And usually people don't have the same answer, right? But there's like a person or a situation or an experience that comes to mind immediately that you're like, yes, that's a salesy weirdo. So I, and I say it lovingly because a lot of people who are salesy weirdos maybe don't realize that they are, or they don't realize that there's a different way to do it. Right? Some of us just learned to network.

at those leads groups, at those referrals groups. And so we assume that's how it works everywhere. And that's the approach that everyone wants us to take. Some people think that networking is very much about like keeping track. I do this for you, you do this for me. To me, it's a very- Reciprocity, yes. Right. To me, I had a very salesy weirdo experience once with a woman who runs a community group here. And I reached out to her asking if I could share a community event.

And it was a free event. wasn't a paid thing or business related. And her response to me was, can you remind me the last time that you sent me a lead? And first of all, very passive aggressive, but also not wanting to help. what I thinking. I'm not sitting here keeping track of, Shauna Lynn sent me a lead. Shauna Lynn sent me a really helpful article. So now I have to send her something.

Shauna Lynn, you know, talked about my event at this thing. So now I have to talk about hers. Like, that's really not how it works. ⁓ And really at the core of salesy weirdo behavior is the intention, right? So if your intention is to get something to receive, to sell, ⁓ that comes across with the salesy weirdo energy and you end up doing salesy weirdo things. If you are showing up to.

any opportunity to network with the intention of being curious about other people, learning about other people, looking for ways that you can provide value to other people without an end game or an expectation. That's when you're able to create real human connections with people that down the line do turn into business growth. But you're not going straight for that. It's not like.

I'm taking you on our first date and within five minutes I'm like trying to get you into bed. Like that's it's the equivalent of salesy weirdo. Yes. and I love this because you know what? I've I've had clients, for example, who have said or even just, you know, colleagues that I'm speaking to the who have said, you know, I joined this networking group. I was there for a few months, but I didn't get anything out of it. So I left. Yep. And.

I've always said, if you're going to join a networking group, it is to build relationships. It is not for an immediate direct return on the investment of your time. I have contacts from the first networking group I ever joined. One of them is my insurance guy. One of them is my IT guy. I'm still in touch with these people. I'm still working with them in some way. But does it mean that I started working with them? ⁓ I just met you. You're in insurance. I need insurance. Let's go do that deal right now. No.

But over time, over years sometimes, these things turn into something. But it's also OK if they don't. But I think that it's like with anything, we have to ensure that we are approaching it from the what can I give as opposed to what can I get. So I always evaluate a networking group. I haven't been a part of a structured, every week kind of networking group for some time. And the main reason is I have attended various groups like these.

they don't feel like the right fit. That is where, like, if you don't feel that people that are in that group are going to have your clients and that you're going to have their clients and it's not going to be a good fit, or if there is, you know, say more pressure for referrals and you're comfortable with, or whatever it might be, then don't join the group just for the sake of joining a networking group. But there are genuinely some great networking groups out there, just like there's some great networking events that really do work, but that

That whole idea of this transactional relationship is where I think a lot of us are falling short. And it's hard sometimes not to think in terms of like, well, if I give this to them, maybe I'll get something in return. Sure. But if that's your entire motivation, it's going to come across as that's your entire motivation. Like someone saying, can you just remind me when the last time you sent me a lead was? Right. Yeah, there's definitely a balance between like being intentional, but also still being like

human and authentic, right? Because you have to make sure that intention piece is there because you are doing this for your business. You are doing this to grow your business. Let's not pretend like we're here to make friends because that's not what we're here to do. We're going to make friends and it's going to be great, but we don't have to pretend like we're not here to build our business. But finding that balance between the two where I am intentionally networking for my business, but I'm also doing it in a way that is authentic and

based on human connection, that's where the magic happens, really. So true. So true. So OK. So let's say I have an actual networking event that I need to go to for whatever reason. What is the best way to approach it without doing that whole, hey, my name is so-and-so, and this is my company, and here's my 30-second elevator pitch? What's a more human way to navigate that?

Yeah, I think it depends on the format. And this is something that I talk to a lot with people who say that they hate networking. This is very similar to like going on one or two bad dates and then being like, I'm done. I'm not dating anymore. I hate dating. Now I'm a former dating and relationship coach. So a lot of my analogies are related to dating, just FYI. So perfect though, because there is a lot of correlation there. Totally, absolutely.

⁓ So the equivalent to that is you go to a networking group, you go to a networking event, it's terrible. You're like, I'm not doing that ever again. I hate networking, right? But there are so many different formats. There's online, there's in-person, there are ones that have really a lot of structure. There are the ones that have no structure, like the ones that you mentioned where you just go and you get a drink and you mingle and that, like those kinds of events are my worst nightmare. I would rather do pretty much anything else than that.

But you give me an event where it's like, OK, sit at this table with these five people. I'm going to give you a topic to talk about at your table for the next 10 minutes. Like, I could do that all day long. And then there's other people who are like, that's my worst nightmare. I don't need to be like, this is not kindergarten. Just let me go talk to who I want to talk to. So finding the format that works for you.

finding ⁓ the people and the vibe that works for you. And it makes a difference who is leading the group. It makes a difference who's shown up, right? So you may go to one this month and then go to the same one next month. And it's a totally different group of people with a totally different vibe. So that's part of it is giving it a chance to find the ones that really work for you and that feel good to you and don't feel like nails on a chalkboard. And then as far as introducing yourself or having conversations with people,

I always recommend a couple questions to answer ahead of time so that you can talk about what you do from your heart rather than from your head. And the problem with the elevator pitch, it's a good starting place if you are brand new in business, if you're still super uncomfortable talking about what you do, if you're still really struggling with a lot of imposter syndrome and tripping over your words when you're telling everybody the business owner that you're pretending to be.

That is a really good starting place, but that's not where you want to stay. Because we've all been at those networking events where someone stands up and they start reciting their elevator pitch. Or sometimes they've got it written on their phone or written on a card or something and they're reading it to you. And you can see when you look around the room, that's when people start to check the agenda, like what's coming next, or what's happening on my phone, or do I need to go order another drink. Because the reason is you are not connecting with anyone.

when you are just reciting words, right? So there are ways that you can, like questions to ask yourself about why did you start your business or why are you still in your business? Sometimes they're not the same thing. Often they're not the same thing. ⁓ What is it that sets you apart from the other people who do what you do? What are your unique skills, experience, personality traits that make people choose you rather than someone else who does the same thing that you do?

⁓ What are your values? What are, what is your mission? ⁓ Those kinds of things. When you're really clear about all of that, you can talk about what you do. You can talk about your business in a way that really connects with people without having to have a lot of mind drama about it. And I think that's the big thing is like when we get so in our heads about like, say the right thing and use the right words and ⁓ I was supposed to use that word in the first seven seconds. Cause Melissa said, right? Then we get so weird. We might as well just sit down.

And this happens to me too. Yeah. When I just trust myself and trust that I know what I'm talking about and just speak, I do a much better job than if I like have notes and specific things that like, I got to talk about this and this. That's when I get super weird. So do the prep work to be able to talk about who you are, what you do, who you serve, what result you get, all of that stuff as a human and just like off the cuff. And that's how you're really going to connect with people.

So incredibly true. I actually volunteer with my local small business center and we work with new entrepreneurs usually who are just starting a business. And one of the big things that we do focus on is the elevator pitch. And so a few weeks ago, ⁓ one of the ⁓ members of this group said, when are we actually going to use that in real life? And I just laughed. I'm like, hopefully never. But the reason why we have them spend so much time on it

And to a timer of 30 seconds, like we're like, you gotta get your elevator pitched down to 30 seconds. And the reason why we have them spend so much time on it is because that refinement helps you to get crystal clear on who you are, who you're serving and what you're offering.

And that's the part that I find a lot of people get tripped up on. So we all think that this elevator pitch is because we're literally going to be standing in elevator one day with someone and we have 30 seconds to pitch them. And it's not really, no one wants to be sold to you in 30 seconds. And probably not in an elevator either. Probably not in an elevator. If there is one rule I've learned from elevator, it is talk about the weather, what floor you're going to, and a basic hello. If they've got a dog, comment on that. But for the most part, you're not about to sell them on who you are, what you do or how you can help them.

Because that comes across a little salesy weirdo. Correct. But the point is that coming up with the elevator pitch, has value to it, to what you were saying about, know your value, know what it is that you want to talk about. But it doesn't have to be recited. It doesn't have to use those specific words. But know what your trigger words are. Know what those resonating words are that you have. like, that really lands really well with my ideal client.

But also keep in mind that not everyone you're speaking to is going to be your ideal client. But for all you know, they know your ideal client. They are connected to your ideal client. So you never know when a conversation is going to bring on an opportunity. Trust me, I've actually had more of these productive conversations in a grocery store than I care to admit, because I've also been a home stage or an interior designer for a number of years. I'm no longer doing the home staging part of it. But I tend to, I don't know, with the full pink hair and everything else, I tend to stand out when I go out places.

So people often ask me what it is that I do. And I've gotten pretty good at being able to answer in a grocery store line about what it is that I do without trying to actually sell them anything. Right. You just because someone's asking about your business doesn't necessarily mean that they're ready to buy, but they're curious and they're leading with that curiosity that you talked about. And I think that is just so key, leading with that curiosity. So you did mention, though, that there some people that might have a little bit of social anxiety about some of these different events and find the format I think is going to be key.

So let's say someone who's introverted or has a little bit of social anxiety and they're absolutely terrified of the whole networking thing and they feel much more comfortable sitting behind the computer and posting six times a day on social media. Like what would you say to them for approaching networking in a way that's gonna feel authentic for them? Yeah, I would recommend starting with a virtual networking event or virtual networking group. ⁓

I am biased, but I run a monthly virtual speed networking event for female entrepreneurs that I think is amazing. And I actually get a lot of feedback. Almost every month I have at least one person who says like, this is the best experience I've ever had networking and I hate networking or like, I have so much anxiety. I'm such an introvert. I've never felt more like comfortable in a setting like this. And the thing about online too is like, I feel like it is so

much easier to walk into a Zoom room full of people that you don't know than it is to walk into an actual room full of people you don't know, right? Like when you walk into an actual room of people you don't know, you are 100 % sure that every single person is looking at you. Of course. Every single person is like, who is she? Who invited her? Why is she here? She's not even a real business owner, right? But on Zoom, you can just like pretend like a lot of that's never happening. I also like

online because if it gets super weird, if you are super uncomfortable, if it is just very clear halfway through that this is not the space for you, just click the X and log out. Like you can't do that when you're in an actual room. So I think that's a really good start to help you get comfortable talking to people that you don't know, talking about your business, interacting in kind of a different way. And then when you're ready to move into in-person,

and I would move into in-person at some point. You can keep doing the virtual, that's great, but I wouldn't stick just exclusively with virtual because there's a lot of magic that happens when you're in a room with other people that doesn't happen in the same way online. ⁓ And so a lot of times I will recommend if you have somebody that you can bring with you, especially somebody who is more extroverted, I have a friend like this, I call her my fishing pole friend because I send her out into the room.

She finds the person that she knows that I want to talk to or the person who needs to talk to me. And she literally brings them back to me. She's like, Melissa, this is Shauna Lynn. She does this, this, and this. I'd already told her she'd be perfect to join the Powerful Women Rising Community Here you go. And then she goes out to find me another one.

We all need one of those. It's the best. Yes. So that works usually a little bit better than bringing your other shy, anxious, introverted friend, right? Because if you do that, you're probably both just going to sit in the corner and talk to each other and then be like, whoa, we networked. Well, what I also like about that, though, is that there's something to be said for, I can sell someone else's business 10 times easier than I can sell my own. for sure. So if someone is kind of priming that person for you, where they're not trying to sell you something of their own, but they're like, I have the person you should meet,

not only is that easier for you as the person they're about to meet, but the person that they're talking to is going to feel that much more comfortable and less pressured and more like, this sounds like someone I should actually meet. Like it sounds like a better fit. So there's a bit of a extra comfort, I think, of having that little buffer there. Yeah, absolutely. And that is exactly why I say that networking is like one of the most underrated but sustainable business growth methods that there is, because that's going to happen.

whether I'm in the room with my fishing pole friend or not. She's still in other rooms that I'm not in talking about me and what I do, looking for people who are the right fit for my community. And I'm doing the same for her. So we've halved our workload because she's doing half of it for both of us, and I'm doing half of it for both of us. There is a definition of networking that's from way back in like 1914 or something that is a broadcast system of multiple transmitters.

And I love that definition because that is exactly what we're talking about. I can tell as many people as there are in my community or my network about my new offer. But now if I've got a connection with you and you've got 100 people in your network, now I've got another transmitter to broadcast my message. And those people know 100 people and those people know 100 people.

The people that you're telling about my offer are now coming to me as warm leads, and I've never even met them. I haven't had to sit down and have 100 coffee dates with everyone in your network in order to get them to know, and trust me because they already do because they know, like, and trust you and you know, like, and trust me. So that really is, like, the bottom line of the magic of networking. Well, it's so true. I mean, just the that you and I have connected over cats now, I'm probably going to start sending random cat memes on Instagram.

And that's going to us connected. It's my main fee. That's pretty much all that comes up in my suggestions. But it's also a great way, though. And I'm using that as an example. And we're laughing about it. But the reality is that if you connect with someone on something. So I'm also a runner. I find I actually shared a running reel with someone the other day, or it was a meme, I should say, with another running friend that basically said something about someone asking like, oh, so you're a runner. Tell me about that.

response like you don't have the time for this. Asking a runner to talk about running, like you're just, you might as well just have a seat, you know, like it's gonna take a little while. But the point is though that if I meet another runner at one of these events, I'm more likely to stay connected with them post the event. Now I have no idea whether or not that running connection will bring any other fruitfulness to us.

But what's the harm in keeping in touch over something that we do have in common that could potentially also lead to business? It's really easy to work your business into a discussion when you're already having a social discussion about something else, whether it's cats or running or whatever else it is that gets you going in each day, know, whether it's a hobby, an interest, whatever, you know, it's finding that commonality that maybe is a little outside of the business even that can really, really be fruitful too.

Yeah, and that's great advice too for people who are nervous or uncomfortable with networking is that you don't have to do it at a networking event. If there's something that you really like to do, like if you play D &D, go find, I don't know why that was my example. Sure, know where that came from. Go find a group that does that. have a whole D &D coffee shop here, right? Like go hang out at the coffee shop. Find a runners group. Find a hiking group. That's what we do here in Colorado.

find a, I don't know, silent book club. I don't know why I'm coming up with such weird examples, but when you do that, that is really a way that you can connect with other people without that pressure, right? Like we're not sitting across the table from each other. Like, so tell me about your business. You tell me about your business. Cause that can feel really like forced and awkward. But if you can just go do something that you like to do anyway, and connect with people around that.

It doesn't even matter if you talked about your business the first time or not, right? You still created a connection with someone, and you're going to be able to keep that connection going in a really authentic, genuine way. And like you said, who knows how that's going to turn out down the road. Well, that way when your business does come into the conversation too, it feels a lot more natural and way less salesy. Yes. And on that note, we're going to be right back after this very quick message.

All right, welcome back to the Real Women Real Business podcast where we're speaking with Melissa Snow and we're talking about networking and please don't turn us off if you're just tuning in. This is very important. I promise you're going to want this conversation because we're talking about how to make it a little less salesy and a little bit more human, actually a lot more human. And so before the break, we were talking about finding that common ground with someone. And it's a lot easier than you think.

What are some ways potentially, Melissa, that if I meet someone at an event and we've got to get that conversation going, whether it's a forced, we're sitting at the same table, go ahead and start talking or a mingling event or even an online event, whatever that looks like. But what are some ways to find some of that common ground with someone and get that conversation going in a natural cadence?

Yeah, I think there's a lot of really good starter questions beyond, me about your business. mean, tell me about your business a lot of times means sell me something or recite your elevator pitch to me. Right. So we're trying to get around that. ⁓ There are some some good conversation starters that can get you beyond the small talk without being like, so tell me about your childhood trauma.

because that also is not a good go-to. So I recommend, you can always ask people, what brought you to this event? Have you been to this event before? Do you enjoy networking in these kinds of situations? Because a lot of times people are going to be like, no, I've never been here before. Or I actually hate networking. My friend made me come. And so you can of bond over that to begin with.

⁓ I also really like asking people like why they got started in their business or why they are passionate about what they do. ⁓ We were just talking in the Powerful Woman Rising community. I had asked them one of the questions was, ⁓ what's a question that you wish people would ask more at networking events? And one of the ones that they came up with was, what are some common misconceptions about you or about your industry? ⁓ Which is also a really good like starting point, right? Because then,

I feel like questions like that really let you get to know the person underneath the business, right? It me get to know like, okay, you are one of 5,000 business coaches, but like why and how did you get here? And was your experience like mine or was your experience totally different than mine? Do you, can I relate to your passion? Can I relate to the values that drive your business? So it's a way that you can still ask people about their business and learn about their business. But

get to know the person underneath it too. And that's really where you can create that connection. I really like that, idea of like, yeah, talk about misconceptions. Cause I'll admit, you when I was working as a home stager, I would often go to these networking events and explain to people that I did more than just fluffing pillows and putting out some plants. you know, so it was, it would have been nice. think if someone would say like, what are some misconceptions or what do people not know? But instead a lot of times people do tend to approach it saying,

as though they know like, you're a home stage. Oh, so you must do this all the time or you must be that. So it kind of gives you even just like what we were talking about earlier about leading with curiosity. The fact that you're bringing up that question just has me kind of rethinking about how can I lead with curiosity? Because I'll admit that sometimes I make some assumptions when someone says they work in a certain business. I'm like, oh, you must get this all the time or you must do this all the time. And instead of saying that, maybe saying to them like, what are you so tired of people saying about your business or something along those lines instead? Yeah.

But I think that ⁓ even talking about how you mentioned just asking someone about what brought them to that event, because you never know. It might be someone saying something like, well, I'm in book club with so and so, or I'm in a running group with this other person. And you just might find your connection there as well. And like said, those are more natural. Or you might be able to join a book club for all you know. mean, if nothing else comes out of it, maybe you've got a new book club to go to. So if we're networking, I think one of the things that

we've kind of gotten obsessed with over the last several years is with online marketing, there's all this data, there's all these analytics that apparently can be, it can be evaluated, but I'll admit, like, I don't know a lot of people who are actually digging in that deep into the analytics, but they're looking at things like, well, this post got this many views or this many clicks or this many likes or this many comments or whatever. But when you're networking, how are you measuring success? Or I don't know if success is quite the right term for it, but

how are you measuring whether or not it's a good idea? mean, as we've talked about, sometimes it's gonna take some time before that actually turns into real traction. So what is it that they should be measuring if they're going out networking and they wanna track something, they wanna analyze some data? Because I happen to have been an analyst in a former life as well, so I love me some good data. No, that's a great question. And honestly, it's a question I have had to ask myself a lot in marketing what I do because...

what people want. And the same thing happened to me as a dating and relationship coach, right? The ones who are making six, seven figures a year were the ones selling, find a husband in 90 days. know, I'm like, I can't, I can't sell you find a husband in 90 days and I can't sell you six figures in a year of networking, but what I can sell you is, and it comes back to that question of like, what is the purpose of networking? Is it to find clients?

not specifically, it really is to build your network. And there's a lot of different roles that people are gonna play in your network, right? Some of them are gonna be the people who always like and comment on your social media posts. Some of them are gonna be the people who are always looking for opportunities for you because they're really plugged into the speaking world. Some of them are gonna be people who just become your friends or...

your cheerleaders or your yes people or the people that you call when you need someone to be like, no, that's actually not a good idea. So ⁓ there's a lot of different roles that people are going to play in your network. And so part of how you can be intentional is knowing where those gaps are and what gaps you need to fill in your network. If you already have a group of 15 women that you've all agreed, we're going to like and comment on each other's Facebook posts every day.

that's probably not what you're looking for when you're networking, right? Maybe you're looking for somebody who, ⁓ they do a lot of networking because they love it. And so they're in a lot of other rooms where they may be able to be your fishing pole and find opportunities and people to connect you with. So being intentional, knowing what you're looking for when you're networking, and then you know what you can keep track of, I have part of what is really challenging for people. And what I get asked all the time is about the follow-up. Like I went to the networking event.

I met the people, now what do I do? And so that also comes back to being intentional because you don't need to follow up with every single person you met at the networking event, nor should you follow up with every single person you met at the networking event. This is very much like saying, I need to DM every single man on Tinder. No, you don't. And I'm telling you, DMing every single man on Tinder does not increase your odds of finding your husband. It doesn't work that

And DMing every single person that you met at the networking event is also not going to increase the odds that one of those people is going to be your client. So be intentional about who you want to follow up with. Know who you're looking for. Have enough conversations. I say it is very similar to online dating where you're having enough of a conversation with them to know.

Is this someone that I want to put more time and energy into? And then maybe they go to the next phase. So then maybe you're going to have a 30 minute Zoom call with them. You're not going to take three hours out of your day to have lunch with them. But you are going to do a 30 minute Zoom call and then decide again, is this somebody that I want to put more time and energy into this relationship? And so I created a networking planner that I think is really, really helpful in making sure that you're being intentional.

So it's a good way for you to keep track of what networking events or groups or wherever you're going to network every month, make sure that you are making some sort of effort in that area every month. And then also keeping track of people that you meet at those events, like brand new people that you meet that you want to follow up with, and also being able to look back at previous months and are like,

OK, who are the people that I haven't followed up with in a while that I want to make sure I'm remaining on their radar? So I think that's a good way to keep track of some of the statistics. But I also think it's very much like when you're losing weight and they talk about non-scale victories, right? Because any of us who have been through this journey, which is probably any woman who is listening, knows that there are times that you go to the scale and you've lost three pounds.

But also you can wear those pants that you haven't been able to wear in two years. Right. So also you just ran up and down the stairs three times and you didn't like almost die of suffocation. Right. So it's important I think in networking too to be able to look for those non-scale victories. Like did Shauna Lynn become your client? No. But did she send three people to you over the last year who did become your client? Did she share multiple?

podcast guest opportunities with you that turned into something really good for you? Did she become a good friend? Did she become somebody who you could go to when you needed support in business? So it's important to look for a lot of those things too, I think, when you're keeping track of, this worth my time? And am I actually getting anything out of it? There are so many things that you said in all of that that I'm like, OK, how do I back up? Should have been taking notes here. OK, the first thing is you mentioned you have this networking planner.

⁓ Where can someone get their hands on that? They can get that on my website. It's powerfulwomenrising.com There's a pop up that will come up to ask you if you want to get the networking planner or you can just go to powerfulwomenrising.com/planner Wonderful. And we'll make sure that that link goes into the show notes because I love what you're saying about that because I know that sometimes we can get a bit overwhelmed of like, I've got

you know, it's in my click up or it's in my CRM or it's in my email and I flagged the email and I forgot to come back to it and what was I going to do for my next follow up and when should I actually follow up and just like try and keep track of all of that. So I love the idea of being able to have a bit of a planner that allows for that to be a little bit more natural. But even like you went back to, know, just talking about kind of the different measurements and the non-scale measurements where like it's so important that

You know, we're not emphasizing just on conversions, but on what are these relationships that we're building here? And, you know, like you said, it's so difficult. You can send out a bunch of different messages to a bunch of different people. But I love how you're saying like you don't have to follow up with every single person that you meet. And then one of my favorite things that you talked about, though, is about going back to being intentional because and I can't remember what the name of like what the there's a word for this. And I was actually just listening to one of my books.

one of Dan Sullivan's books this morning, and they talk about it. But that whole idea of when you start thinking about something, you're going to see it. So if I decide I'm going to buy a red car, all I'm going to see on the road are red cars. And so if you're intentional about what it is that you're looking for, what do I need in my network? You're going to be attracting it that much more. You're going to be that much more open to seeing what it is that you're looking for. If you go into it of just like, well, I'm just happy to meet anyone.

Okay, then you're going to just meet anyone and that's okay too. Maybe if it's a first or second event or something and you're not really sure and you're just getting your feet wet by all means. But like you said, if you're looking for someone that you're gonna wanna connect with on Instagram and they're gonna like your posts and everything else, then that's what you're going and looking for. And you're going to be talking about maybe the challenges that you have on Instagram and connecting in that way, but your conversations will naturally lead you.

towards what it is that you're actually looking for. And so you're that much more likely to actually attract that person, especially if you don't have the fishing pole that you can throw out there to hook someone and bring them back for you. I absolutely, absolutely love that part of it, though, just being intentional and knowing what it is that you actually want to get out of it. And your answer can't be big bags of money. We've talked about this on this podcast before that anyone who's just offering to give you big bags of money, I mean, by all means, sure, go ahead and take it. But there might be a few strings attached. Like the idea is you want to build some real genuine.

connections before they're handing you big bags of cash. Because it's not always going to be worth it. Yeah. And people love to ask at networking events or when they meet you one on one. They always love to ask, what can I do to support you? Or who can I connect you with? And I am always amazed how many people don't know the answer to that question. When I run my monthly virtual speed networking events, I have everybody fill out a contact sheet form that has their information. And then the last question is, who do you want to be connected with? Who are?

good referral partners for you or who are you looking for to fill your network right now? And I'm always so amazed by how people don't know how to answer that question. People will say, everyone, women in business, anyone who wants to make more money, I'm like, this is not helping. I know, exactly. I will admit that.

I've gotten a little bit lazy with that answer because I have a podcast now. So honestly, the best way to support me to send them to my podcast and see if something resonates with them. I mean, yes, I get a little bit more specific about who my audience is and who is best going to resonate with. But honestly, like it is one of the easiest ways for someone to guarantee get value without even having to actually meet me or connect with me just yet if they're not ready to. And then that can turn into a follower and it can turn into.

someone actually reached out and saying, so and so turned me onto your podcast. I've been binging it ever since I got turned on to it, you know, and I'd love to connect. And by the way, if that's you listening to this, by all means reach out to me @shaunalynnsimon I think that's a great answer. And your answer is going to change sometimes too, right? There may be a period of your life where you're like, I really want to get on more stages or I'm really looking for a coach who specializes in this that can help me take that to the next level. And so then maybe that's your answer for a while, but

I love that you have that just kind of go-to answer, because it's perfect. It's perfect. Like I said, would I love for them to join my group coaching program? Of course. But that's going to be once they get to know me a little bit. Would I love to get onto a call and have a chat with them? Yes. But that's also intimidating at a first glance. So getting them onto my podcast, or getting them as a listener onto my podcast is a great way to do it. Asking someone just to leave me a review on my podcast. Ask someone to leave you a Google review.

This is also another misconception sometimes that like if I meet someone at a networking event and I can't help but coach like I'm a coach, I'm a coach, I'm a coach. So, you know, I'll meet someone at an event sometimes and I can't help but turn the conversation with their permission always not never unsolicited, but with their permission, you know, may I offer you some some thoughts on this? May I ask you a few questions to learn a little bit more about this? So I end up offering them some advice and they're grateful for it they asked me what they can do. Usually my response is.

go onto my Google and leave me a testimonial, like leave me a review. That would be fantastic. It takes no time to do it. a lot of people think, well, but I'm not your client. No. But can you attest to my expertise? Can you attest to the value that I provide? If so, you don't need to be my client. I can go on to Melissa's Google right now and give her a glowing, genuine Google review.

because I've had a connection with her. I know where you're an expert. I know you know your stuff when it comes to networking. And I can go into your Google and simply give you exactly that kind of review. And it's something that I think is it's non-currency. We don't always have to open up our wallets. Because I understand as a small business owner, like it's tight. We keep those things clamped shut unless it's absolutely necessary for our business. So there's so many things that we can be doing to support each other, whether it's an actual introduction, a Google review, ⁓ just sharing.

sharing the love around our community essentially and helping each other. So I think, you know, to your point going into the networking, not just about what we're going to get out of it, but how can we also be helping other people? love that. Absolutely. But yes, we need to know the answer to how can I support you when someone asks us, because if you're just standing there like a deer in headlights, it's less likely to be productive coming out of that. So amazing. So I.

I definitely think that, know, listening to this, I think we can all be a little bit more intentional about our networking. And hopefully this is also inspiring some people to actually like get out there and do some networking. If someone listening to this is to take one thing away from today's conversation, Melissa, what do you hope that they will put into action or keep with them as they move forward?

I think the biggest thing is just do it, like just start. I read a book and I can't remember what it was called or who it was by, but it was about social anxiety. And it was written by a psychologist who works specifically with people who have social anxiety. And she said, people always come to me and say, I want you to make me less anxious so I can go live my life. And she said, I always tell them it's the opposite. You need to go live your life in order to be less anxious. And I feel like sometimes networking is just one of those things that like,

you've got to just go do it scared. And every single time, it gets a little bit easier. That is so perfect and so well said and so true, too. think it's like with many things in business, sometimes you've got to just jump, even if you can't see the bottom, because we just have to have that faith that we're going to land somewhere good. So even if your first networking experience ends up feeling anxious and uncomfortable, it'll get easier and keep doing it. So I think just do it is a great. ⁓

Great bit of advice there. Well, Melissa, honestly cannot thank you enough for coming on today and sharing all of this. It's been absolutely fantastic having you. Thank you so much. Yeah, thank you so much for having me. It was super fun. So listen, everything that we talked about today, we'll make sure those resources are in the show notes. If you're listening to this, don't do it while you're driving, of course, but feel free to check out the show notes for ways to connect with Melissa, to join her community, as well as download that networking planner.

And if what we're seeing here is resonating with you today, I hope that you will tune in again next week. Allow us to continue to be a part of your ongoing entrepreneurial journey. Don't forget to leave us a review. Subscribe to us wherever you get your podcast. And of course, don't forget that the best way that you can continue not only to support us in this podcast that we're bringing you each week, but also your fellow female entrepreneurs, share this episode with someone that you know could genuinely benefit from it. Until next time, keep thriving.