Ep 122 Transcript: The Flip the Box Method for Better Leadership and Connection with Shari Leid

This transcript was auto-generated and may contain errors in spelling or inaccuracies in the spoken words.

Shauna Lynn Simon (01:50.03)

Hello and welcome to the Real Women Real Business Podcast. I am your host, Shauna Lynn Simon, and today I'm joined by Shari Leid. Author, speaker, and founder of the Flip the Box Movement. Shari helps leaders and entrepreneurs turn disconnection into a strategic advantage, strengthening relationships, improving communication, and leading with more clarity and confidence. She's also the author of Table for 51, a project that took her across all 50 states.

exploring the role of connection in leadership and life. So Shari, welcome to the show.

Shari Leid (02:22.754)

Thank you. It's great to talk to you today.

Shauna Lynn Simon (02:25.426)

I'm super excited to talk to you as well. And so I want to talk about like some of the things that I kind of said in your intro there can come across as sort of buzzwords essentially for some of the people listening. I think we all get a little bit fatigued sometimes by some of the buzz that's out there, but we're gonna get it down to the actual meat of things. So when you talk about connection and you say that connection is a driver of performance, what are we talking about in kind of plain language? What does that mean?

Shari Leid (02:51.574)

Yeah, sure. So specifically, if we're talking about business, but this also feeds into our personal lives as well. When we're talking about connection, we're talking about the ability to actually form relationships with our teams, our clients, our stakeholders. And with these relationships, people on the other side become invested, they become more engaged, they're inspired, new ideas develop, people become loyal, and quite honestly, it leads into profitability. So

The idea of connection, while it sounds like a buzzword because we're talking about, you know, connection and don't lose connection when we're in all this technology and innovation, it's actually something that we've needed since the dawn of time. And while everything can be going quickly around us, we need that human centered leadership, that human connection.

Shauna Lynn Simon (03:40.994)

And so we're talking about connections sort of as a business strategy, or like you said, it it applies in in personal as well, but we're not talking about like a connection hack. Like we're not gonna try to fake connection here. We're talking about real, genuine connections that we're making, not just pretend connections, correct?

Shari Leid (03:56.834)

Yeah, I think we could say we're not just talking networking. Right. Not just talking networking. We're talking actual connection. And you mentioned that I traveled through all fifty states for that book, Table for 51, and that was in 2023. And in that I shared a meal with a stranger and that's how I realized or started to observe how connection happens and how you can connect quickly versus kind of surface level conversation that is networking and doesn't lead to an actual connection.

Shauna Lynn Simon (04:26.798)

Okay, because I think that's such a key distinction to make too. We're not looking at a hack or a pretend type of relationship or making your clients feel like, you know, you're kind of sort of there, but you're actually disconnected. And so when we're talking about disconnection, what's maybe a common sign that a leader might be disconnected without realizing it?

Shari Leid (04:49.194)

If their teams aren't engaged, if it looks like people that you're leading are simply showing up and doing the bare minimum, if you're not hear hearing new ideas from your teammates or your workers or whoever you're working with, your clients even, if people aren't sharing their ideas with you and they're just showing up in the minimal amount of time and getting the job done wrote and not communicating with other members, there may be a disconnection.

Shauna Lynn Simon (05:15.384)

Well, it's funny that you say that too, because I've had this conversation several times where I said, listen, if you feel like everyone who works for you is an idiot, if everyone who works for you is lazy, the common thread between all of this is you. And I know that's a hard thing. I'm not saying you're a terrible business owner, I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong, but it is a moment of self-reflection that if you're noticing that your team members are basically just coming and punching a clock and leaving.

And you can say, like, I just hired all the wrong people. And I've talked to clients where they're like, I think I have to start all over. I need to get rid of everyone and start fresh. And we realize through a little bit of investigation, a little bit of connection that, actually, you do have the right people. Some of them might not be quite in the right position, or you know, there might be some adjustments that need to be made in terms of their role. But overall, like you've got the right people. You were the problem. Like you weren't actually taking the time to listen to them to get to know them because I think that.

Sometimes we see team members, employees, staff, whatever you want to call them, whether we do this intentionally or not, we almost see them as like minions essentially. And I don't mean that that disrespectfully, and I don't think anyone's doing that on purpose of like, all my little minions to do all my work. But sometimes we end up treating them that way. So when we're talking about this disconnection, you also mentioned like it can show up with your teamers, but it can also show up with your clients, with your contractors. Does it show up somewhere

first or is there somewhere where we're like, if we're seeing it there, like that's a definite red flag, or does it vary depend on the person, the company, et cetera?

Shari Leid (06:49.172)

I believe that this practice of connecting and what has happened since that time that I wrote Table for 51, there's actually I actually have a new book coming out next year, which is called Flip the Box with a system called Flip the Box. And it teaches connection. And I strongly believe that once you learn how to connect, whether or not you're using the system that I prescribe or another expert's, you know, system or something that just works for you where you're connecting.

The key is to practice it over and over again in your personal life and professional life. Because if you're feeling disconnected, well, first of all, if you're feeling disconnected at home, no matter how great of a job you think you're doing at work, you're not gonna have connection because really it starts with ourselves. And, you know, I used to joke that if I ever went into surgery, I want to ask my doctor, how are things going on at home? You know? Because

don't have work self and home personal self that we are one person and this idea of connection it has to be personal and professional and it has to be practiced because it's so easy to get lazy with that, especially you know, coming out of that pandemic, even though that was, you know, six years ago and it took a while, but we still have a lot of that stuff that we practiced back then that's keeping us disconnected.

Shauna Lynn Simon (08:09.73)

I love that you touched on that because as much as yeah, like you said, it was six years ago, and I keep having these memories that are popping up in my Facebook memories, especially that are saying, like, six years ago, here's what you're doing. I'm like, wow, six years ago was an interesting time to say the least, but it's not like it went away within a few months or a couple of weeks like we thought it was going to. It took years for us to get back to some sort of normalcy. And every place it varies. And this isn't about necessarily like the protocols that you're putting into place or

your comfort level being in groups or any of that kind of stuff. It's just in general, there were practices that were put in place that didn't go away. So for example, pre-COVID, I used to host webinars all the time and I would get massive amounts of people turning out for them. And then post-COVID, people were like, I'm done. I'm done with the webinars. Like I don't want to just show up and watch someone speak for an hour. But if I host a workshop, those do really well because it's like you said, there's more connection to it. And I think we crave that that much more. And

Depending on what season of life you were at in both personal, business, you know, all of the above, I think we underestimate how much some of that impacted us, that lack of connection. And it's easy to revert to some of the habits that we built during those few years that are not necessarily the healthiest.

Shari Leid (09:28.042)

It is. And for business leaders who are now hiring the next generation of, you know, young executives, young workers. And this is my kid, my kids are in their 20s. So they're of this generation coming in. They went through high school in their first part of college in isolation compared to my experience. And it was comfortable for them in a sense, you know, and also working from home, even in jobs that traditionally you wouldn't work from home. That's something that businesses are offering because it's expected.

So for the generation above who are now leaders, you know, hiring these people, and we really owe it to the next generation to show them how to connect, to show them how to connect on a personal level and to show them how to connect in a in the business environment and why it's important to talk to somebody in a different department, know what they're doing, and to talk to somebody maybe 20 years older or 10 years younger.

And it's our job to show them this and teach them this and the only way we can do it is if we ourselves as leaders learn how to connect.

Shauna Lynn Simon (10:30.386)

Absolutely. I mean, one of the things I talk about this quite avidly on the show, that I'm a runner and I actually oversee a running group, which I used to call it my ladies' running group, but we've actually had some men join us recently. And what's great about this group is I run six days a week. So I spend a lot of my time sitting in this office and sure, I'm making connections with podcast guests like yourself, with my clients. Like I'm on calls. I probably do at least three to four calls most days. But

It's not quite the same as I get out and I run with these people and that's a physical connection in person, sharing something that we love. It's just a different kind of connection than my work-related connections. And it seems so small, but I know when I talk to other people, they're like, like I didn't even see anyone but my husband today or my cat or whatever. You know, that can be really isolating. And I think we underestimate the long-term effects of that as well. So you mentioned, this Flip the Box. I want to get into this a little bit. So

This is a framework or technique that you've created. Can you tell us a little bit about that? Like what are some of the steps? What what does it solve? How does it work?

Shari Leid (11:34.306)

Yeah, so the reason it's called Flip the Box, just a quick backstory is in my travels across the US, so I was orphaned as a baby and I had been found in a cardboard box. And I don't know my own birth date. There there's no identifying information. So despite what happened to me in my career and in my personal life, this box would keep on popping up in rooms, you know, symbolically and saying, You don't belong here.

And I realized in my travels around the US when I sat down, it was all women that I met with that I didn't absolutely didn't know or had very little contact with before. So essentially strangers, and shared these meals and had these organic conversations. I kept out and asking questions like, What creates community for you? What feels like connection? What is family? And I realized I had been on this quest to find connection and belonging my entire life.

And in these conversations with these women who ranged from ages 20s to 60s, different races, economic levels, political beliefs, educational levels, I found that sense of belonging and connection. And I realized I had symbolically taken the box I was found in and flipped it and had made it a table for connection belonging. And that's why this is called Flip the Box. And it's about finding connection. And to make it easy to remember, the four steps are F L I P.

And it's don't focus on you, focus on who. Step two is don't listen to reply, listen to identify, identify the meaning underneath the words. Step number three is don't choose control, ignite the soul. And by soul meaning the person in front of you, because as leaders, we can focus on the person, we could listen to them, but then it's so easy for us to get into that control mode and lose connection and lose that understanding with the person. And that's when all the work we did is gone.

And we're not listening to new ideas. And the fourth is don't play small play ball, meaning as leaders, you know, you mentioned it's easy to just get lost in the weeds and think, like minions for lack of better words. Gotta get into the game. Don't play small play ball. Get in the game because you could hire somebody in that same position as the person as a you know, a position that you filled where someone else was in, but this new person has different skills and you're not going to know what those skills or ideas are unless you get into the game and get to know that person.

Shauna Lynn Simon (13:49.88)

This is really powerful because I like the way that you're framing it. I love the story, the backstory behind Flip the Box and

thinking of, you know, the box becoming this table where people can gather. But I also all the different things that you were saying there, you know, like leading with, and I'm paraphrasing some things, but you know, leading with curiosity as opposed to just like jumping in there and saying, like, I can do all the things as a boss. And I think that this is one of the biggest things that does cause disconnection is that as the boss, we believe that we are the only ones who can do things. You know, so what you're talking about in terms of connection doesn't just make for better relationships, doesn't just make people happier, but I can see how that can

Create an opportunity for people to be able to share innovative ideas, for people to be able to take on more responsibility, to delegate stronger. Like this really is a trickle-down effect that if you can start with this level of connection, all of the bonus branches that come from it, there's just no limit to it. Like what do you find when people practice this level of connection? What do you find are some of the immediate changes that they start seeing?

Shari Leid (15:44.802)

Things get easier. Things just get easier, both personally and professionally, because when they start to trust, trust is built. They start to trust their employees. Their employees trust them. They're more invested. And even, I mean, you could talk employees, you could talk about at home as a parent. You know, I actually learned that piece, don't choose control, ignite the soul as a parent, because I was that parent that was controlling everything. And the more I tried to control,

Especially I have a child that is very different than the rest of us and struggles a bit in school and in life. And when I was trying to control because she does things differently, she started to pull away more and more. And it wasn't until I flipped that and chose connection. And it's not easy when you especially when you're afraid as a parent or maybe afraid as a boss, because you're thinking, profit, bottom line, if things aren't going my way, it's not the easiest. But man, when you're able to remind yourself that

Okay, let me just take a moment here and invest in this person. It's surprising how much easier things get and the trust that's built and the confidence and the anxiety that goes away when you realize you really actually have a team. This is why you have a team.

Shauna Lynn Simon (16:57.678)

It's interesting too. I mean, all of my team members are remote workers. Currently, I don't have any that are technically employees, like as an on-payroll, paying the taxes, et cetera. They're all freelancers. And I've noticed such a different connection to when I had employees on staff. Now, this works better for the business that I have now. I had a a different type of business when I had.

you know, in-person staff that needed to actually be on my payroll and be employees. But one of the things that I have found with having them as freelancers is that that level of connection just comes a little bit more instantly, it seems, because you're both running your own businesses. So there's an understanding of the business level of things. But when I was working with my staff, I think one of the biggest things was always like, well, they don't understand what it's like being at the top here and running the business. And it's so easy to kind of dismiss that. And I wasn't always perfect as a leader, far from it. But

I found things over the years that worked. And one of the biggest things that I had read was a book. gosh, I'm gonna come back to the name on it because of course I can't remember off top of my head. But it talked about doing one-on-ones with your employees and the value of that. I remember the first time I read it, my thinking was like, you want me to do a meeting with someone every single week? Like, that's just extra meetings on my calendar, and this seems like a a waste of time.

And then I would talk to my team leads. I would ask them to do the same thing with their directs. And when I talk to my clients and I ask them to do it, I get the same kind of pushback. But if the one-on-ones are done correctly, it actually does create such a stronger connection. I knew every single week what was going on both personally and professionally in my team members' lives. And these meetings were 20 minutes. They weren't long, but they were.

real connection and not just like a forced connection, which they kind of started off as a bit of a forced connection, admittedly. But it was amazing how many things came out of that of discovering interests that my team members had or an underlying issue that was causing them to be a bit more disconnected from work because they're dealing with something at home in their personal life that was pretty big, but they didn't feel comfortable coming to me about it until we started doing some of these meetings.

Shauna Lynn Simon (19:06.712)

So it was amazing how that connection worked. Now, do you have like a system for here's how to build like I you've got this whole framework, but is there like a start doing meetings or start doing calls? Like is there kind of like a formula, I guess is what I'm saying? Is there a formula to it or you leave it up to the individual?

Shari Leid (19:25.054)

Well, if I'm working with someone, it depends on the structure of the organization, right? And what works best for the organization and what works best for your employee. So it switches, but that in person or if it's remote, that time to set aside so that you do connect, because it's amazing what happens when somebody feels seen and it doesn't take much. And you realize, you know, in these travels around the US, so when I met with these strangers,

I would tell them I'm writing a book, this, you know, I may get media, I'm trying to get media, probably will. And so I thought the objection would be, I'm sorry, I'm a private person, which I would understand. The objection, I never heard that, but the objection that came up more than once was, I don't know if I'm interesting enough for you. And that surprised me because I was someone that they didn't know and this was just organic conversations over one meal. And if people are leading with that idea in their heads.

That I might not be interesting enough for you, whether it's in a social situation or whether it's in a business situation, they are not going to offer their ideas. They're not going to put forward their best work. They're going to hold back their talents that may help your business. And just that time where you're asking and you're showing interest in the person, they suddenly realize my supervisor, my, you know, the head of this company actually thinks I'm interesting.

Hey, well, I'm going to show them how more interesting I am. I am going to lift them up too, because there's something about a give. You know, when somebody lifts you up, you want to find ways to lift them up too. It's a natural response. And we do that with our friends. We do this in our work with the people that are with us. It's such a little investment in time versus what we can get back.

Shauna Lynn Simon (21:07.64)

That's so powerful. Yeah. You know, you're so right. Like it doesn't take much to build that real connection. And it's amazing the confidence that can come out of that on both sides of things. Now, we've been talking about how this applies with team members. And that was me. That's I kind of led the conversation there. But I do want to bring it back to we talked about clients as well. So how do we build that connection with the clients? Like what's some of the steps? Because I think people who are listening to this are probably thinking,

Well, I connect with my clients through some emails and on social media, but like I don't have time to have a call with every one of my clients, which is understandable. Depending on the type of business that they're in, it might not be the same sort of like one-on-one personalized connection that they're making with them. So what are some ways that they can develop like a real connection with the clients?

Shari Leid (21:56.418)

Well, I think of when you asked that question, I think of one of my clients who was a great salesperson, warm person, great salesperson. She started her sales career with Nordstrom, which especially at the time she started was known for customer service. And one of the things she did, and this was she, you know, she was maybe in college at the time, but very young. But she rose through the ranks very quickly and made a very good income. And one of the things she learned early on was to have a notebook.

And just write down simple things like when somebody told their kids' names, write that down. The birth date, those little details. And so with clients, if we're clients, you know, they're salespeople in some way because we got them as clients, you know, whether it's a professional business or selling a product. And having something where we write down those little details. And if you have staff, that could be one of their things that you put, you know, the staff reaches out. It doesn't necessarily have to be you specifically that reaches out.

The fact is that you're the face of the business and someone noticed this because they know the only reason your assistant reached out and said, Hey, we're thinking about you. Happy birthday. They know it. And when you could sit in the line, it's because you spoke to Shauna Lynn on that conversation and she remembered your birthday. She wanted to make sure I reached out. And if you have any questions, I would love to book a call with her or whatever it is. Yeah. But something as little as that, really in the grand scheme of things, I'm gonna stay with you versus shopping around because you

Are different. It's like going into a hotel and somebody, you know, obviously they have a protocol, but if they greet you by your last name and say, Hello, or you know, your first name, you all of a sudden feel really good. I even feel good when I see my name on that TV screen at the cheapest hotel that says, Hello, Shari, thank you for you know being a loyal member. It makes me feel good. And that didn't take any work.

Shauna Lynn Simon (23:44.366)

It's true. I've spent many years in hospitality. I was a bartender for about 15 years all through university, my first career, starting my first business, all the things. And I worked at a fine dining restaurant for several years. And one thing that was always I used to kind of get a chuckle out of this. So I was working at the bar, but the host would greet whoever came in, and their station for greeting them was right next to the bar. So I got to watch these interactions all the time. And so a reservation would get

pulled up. So someone would say, like, my name is so and so. And I've got a reservation, they pull that up. Not only would it say things like that particular reservation, if there's an anniversary or a birthday or some special occasion that they're celebrating, which is what most systems gather in. But where I worked, it was a really important thing that anytime anyone had any details about that particular guest, we entered it into the computer under their information. So they would come in and so like let's say the owner

was making some rounds of the tables. You know, he would find out who the reservations were first. So he'd go to, let's say it was, you know, Mike and Lisa are in for their anniversary or something. So he's going to go over and wish them a happy anniversary, but he's going to take a look at this computer first and remember that their daughter had just started university that the fall before that at University of Waterloo is one of the most popular ones in my area. So

He's gonna walk over to the table and say, Hi, Mike and Lisa, happy anniversary. So great to see you. How have things been? How is your daughter doing at the University of Waterloo? She was studying communications. Is that right? Like just being able to say that information. And I know that sounds false because he just read it off of a screen, but he cares about the information. He just wasn't able to necessarily retain it because let's face it, it was a big restaurant. There's a lot of people coming and going all the time.

But that just made such a difference to be able to say that. Like I would love to say that I remember all the in and out details of my clients. I don't, but I'm really good at documenting them.

Shari Leid (25:41.898)

Yes. And because that shows you care because it takes time. And what it comes down to is none of us want to feel like a number. We all want to feel like we matter. Period. We just all want to feel like we matter. If somebody has to write your birthday on a calendar versus memorizing ahead, I don't care. I just want you to say happy birthday and I just want to matter. And it doesn't have to be a grand gesture. And that's human nature. We just want to matter.

Shauna Lynn Simon (26:07.372)

I think that's so important. One of the things that I love is if I text someone, I have an iPhone, if I text someone happy birthday, my phone will say Do you want to save this birthday and their contact? I'm like, Yes, absolutely. But then I was out for a run yesterday, and one of my friends that I was running with just mentioned that it was her birthday tomorrow. I'm like, shoot, that fell off my radar. Like I didn't even know what day it was. So I actually did a Google search today to say, how do I get my iPhone to remind me about people's birthdays? And it because it is something that it actually does.

But it's not a default setting like it is with like Google Calendar, for example. So I did find it. It's and it's super easy to set up. I'm going to get into the technical details of it. But if it's something that you that you're interested in, go and Google it because now I've got it set up that anytime it's someone's birthday, it's going to remind me two days ahead of time. Because most of the time I do actually remember their birthdays. But literally when I'm out for a run with her, I don't even know what day of the week it is. I don't know what the day on the calendar is. So it's not occurring to me. I knew her birthday was coming up soon, but it kind of fell off my radar.

So this will allow me to stay more on top of things. And again, such a simple gesture, such a simple thing. But these are people who really mattered to me. And it can be easy to feel like a bad friend sometimes because I'm like, I really did want to remember your birthday, but my brain did not allow that. Especially, I mean, I'm in perimenopause. My brain doesn't allow me to retain a lot of things some days. I never know what kind of day I'm gonna have.

Shari Leid (27:25.752)

Yeah, I hear you. You made me think of all the times I've seen on Facebook people posting about their jobs where they walked into their cubicle or their office and there was like a balloon or some little gift from their office mates or their boss that just said happy birthday. And it wasn't something really grand, it could be a cup of coffee, but it was just being remembered and how much that feels good and something as easy as for small business owners, especially being able to put alert, like you just said.

That's automatic and you have some system that happens, it's amazing what a boost that is, you know, for the company morale.

Shauna Lynn Simon (28:00.446)

Absolutely. I'm on some mailing lists where they send me by mailing list, I mean like, you know, people I've actually met in person, made connections with. They've got my literal mailing address and they will send me a birthday card with a little gift card for a local coffee shop or something. So nice. And I get a few of those a year. And you know what? I know that it was the admin who's doing it. I know like I know it's not necessarily this person. I don't care. I still appreciate and I always take the time to send

a quick little thank you, like thank you so much for thinking of me, you know, because I think that that's important. Like even though they didn't necessarily send it themselves and they don't even know necessarily know that it went out, they put the system in place to ensure like they cared enough to s to endorse it. Maybe the admin like, hey, I've got an idea, but they endorsed it. They they let them run with it. And that matters still, right? Like that's a good connection, even if it's small. And never know where that little thank you email or message might lead in terms of your own business, their business, whatever.

So I love that. One of the things that I want to talk about is some of these things are good, kind of some great systems, but I think someone listening to this might be like, this all sounds great, but I'm already maxed out as it is. Like my business is super demanding and I just don't have the time to do this. And you know, we keep talking about like get your admin to do it, get someone else in your team to do it. What if I don't have someone else on my team? Like, how do you stay connected to your clients to

your team members if you've got them in a fairly easy, low lift kind of way when the business is just demanding so much of your time. How do we make sure that we're maintaining that connection?

Shari Leid (29:34.472)

There has to be a why. You have to realize the and feel the importance of the connection and looking at what you want in your business. And when you understand the why and the reason for it, it makes sense to put it in there. So you have to understand a why. So it doesn't just seem like a task to do, that's an extra thing above. It's actually a part of the ecosystem. And then once we understand that, so I'm a solopreneur like you, you know, some people that I work with remotely, but everything lands on me.

What I've learned personally is I've had to batch things. And that's helped a lot. And everyone has to have their own system. But understand the why and where it fits in, because I get it. We're we've all got a lot of stuff. There's also, have you heard of the theory, Parkinson's theory? And it has nothing to do with Parkinson's disease. Have you heard of Parkinson's law?

Shauna Lynn Simon (30:23.362)

Parkinson's law that the things will take the amount of time that you allot to them, yes.

Shari Leid (30:27.308)

Yes. And I used to practice law and I was a litigator and sometimes we would have mediations and oftentimes people would want a full day mediation. If I could, I would convince us to have an agreement for a half day mediation because I found if we were gonna agree, we were gonna agree in that half day. If we had a full day to agree, it would take us a full, full day to agree. And one thing I've done, because I could easily work six AM to midnight.

Easily seven days a week. And I love what I do, but I decided my personal life's important to me. And if it's a priority, how do I make that happen? I've cut my hours down. So I stop at six PM every night and don't work weekends for the most part, unless I have an event. And I'm getting the same amount done. So understanding the why and the reason, that's the first step. And then figuring out exactly what works for you from there. Cause it's gonna be different for everyone.

Shauna Lynn Simon (31:21.376)

It's so true. Going back to my running. And it's there's there's barely an episode that I don't talk about running because when you're a runner, you're addicted to it and you will tell talk about it every opportunity. but I think there's just so much in life that relates to the running. One of the big things, of course, is I will have people say, just this past weekend I ran 18 kilometers. It takes just under two hours to do that. People are like, Wow, I wish I had time to run for two hours. Right? And here's the thing. I am the kind of person like I'm struggling right now. I'm

getting better, but I'm struggling to reintroduce strength training into my routine. I got away from it for a little while. I enjoy doing it, but the reality is that I haven't been doing it. And when I tell people I'm not doing it, it's not because I don't have time. I claim in my head, I'm claiming that I don't have time. It's that I haven't prioritized it. Whereas my running is always prioritized. Like I will say literally my mother, I have to drive her to the airport sometimes when she's going away and traveling or pick her up from the airport. I shouldn't say I have to

I get to drive her to the airport and pick her up. But she will often schedule her flights at times that she knows will not disrupt my running routine. That's how committed I am to it. And that's how committed everyone is to it. And everyone knows that, like if she's got a flight where it's going to disrupt my run, I now have to figure out how to get that run in because it's such a priority to me. If I treated everything in my life with the same amount.

Of prioritization and respect that I do my runs, I can only imagine how productive I would be. So I take a look at things as, you know, if it's not hitting the radar strong enough, it's because I haven't prioritized it. And so that means we have to take a close look at things. But I love what you're talking about with Parkinson's Law because usually the best way to find time for yourself is to take a look at what you can reduce the time for. Yeah.

Shari Leid (33:06.316)

Yeah. And and it's, you know, the same thing. If something's not getting done, you think, okay, it's not getting done. Maybe I'm not procrastinating. Maybe actually it's not that important to me. And that's why I'm not doing it. And that's the reason circling back is to understand the why. Why is connection? When you understand what connection does for your business, what does for your happiness, what does for your, you know, overall health, then all of a sudden it's not a to do list thing.

it becomes a priority for the goals you want. It aligns. So the first thing is understand the why and then once it becomes important to you, it makes it a lot easier to fit in.

Shauna Lynn Simon (33:45.494)

I love that you said that because I think when we look at results for things, we're often looking like if I do sit-ups every day for the next two weeks, I am going to see definition in my core. And I mean, I'm oversimplifying things, but we have this cause and effect type of relationship, but we want to see something visible. Like I often complain whenever I take my car and it costs me a lot of money when I get it back, it basically looks the same. I understand that technically under the hood, things look a lot better. But from what I where I'm sitting in the driver's seat,

It seems basically the same, but I just spent a whole ton of money on it, right? So we want to see results. It's easier for us to spend time and money on things that we can visibly see. And connection is one of those sort of invisible things sometimes where we don't see it until we see it. Like it's it's kind of we feel it, but it feels like one of those, like, I know that I should eat a little bit better, but am I really gonna notice the difference? Like it's it's one of those types of things. But

I mean, I know scientists have proven time and time again the value and the strength of connection. And you actually have an event coming up in just a couple of months in September that will help women with this connection. I think it's a hard thing sometimes for us to just prioritize as a part of our well-being because it feels selfish almost of like, you want me to take some time to do what? To connect with other people, to connect with myself. But what is the tangible thing that I get out of it?

So tell tell us a little bit about how this retreat is going to help them get some real tangible results.

Shari Leid (35:14.85)

Sure. This is the Flip the Box Women's Retreat, three-day retreat in Austin, Texas, September 17th through the 19th. It's small, no more than eight guests plus me. And this is about, yeah, while most retreats take you away, this one brings you home to yourself first, career, and then community. The idea is one, you don't just leave with notes in your notebook. You leave on Monday morning knowing that you know yourself better than you have in years.

I like to say so many of us have a good life and that good life is stopping us from a great life. And this retreat helps us chip away at the stories that aren't ours, the stories that we're carrying, the labels we're carrying that we don't even realize we are, and really get down to who we are. And with that we become happier, better leaders, and more clear on what we want to do when we wake up Monday morning.

Shauna Lynn Simon (36:09.688)

So if I'm coming to this retreat, what are some of the types of women that I can expect to connect with at this retreat?

Shari Leid (36:16.386)

You know, I believe that people show up when they need to show up. So it's different every time. This last retreat, the youngest woman was in her 30s and she was a solo business owner. She left corporate America, just was starting her business, very gunhouse, smart. The oldest woman was in her early 70s, starting a tech app company. Early 70s. And she showed up because she didn't even talk to me before she signed up. She showed up because she believed.

That she needs to be around people who have different ways of looking at the world for her to continue to be curious. And so it's just this group of women. And the other this was a small retreat again. The other five women that were there were also very different than each other, but the synergy was amazing. It just makes sense.

Shauna Lynn Simon (37:03.512)

Okay, I like that. Well thank you. And you've got a special offer for our listeners, is that right?

Shari Leid (37:08.288)

Yes, yes, $100 off the retreat and I think there are four spots left. There are just four spots left. It's a hundred dollars off. The code is RWRB and registration is at my website, sharileid.com/retreat

Shauna Lynn Simon (37:24.162)

Perfect. We'll make sure that that's in the show notes. Wonderful. So, Shari, if somebody's listening to this episode today wants to leave with one thing. We gave them a lot of things that I can also see it being a little overwhelming. Like that's a lot of things on my to-do list, a lot of things to remember. But if there's one thing they take away from this episode that they can put into action this week, what would you want that to be?

Shari Leid (37:42.734)

I always say the story you tell yourself changes everything about yourself. So if the story you're telling yourself isn't supporting you, if the story is saying I don't have time to connect to people, I don't have time for connection, think about what story you're telling yourself because when you flip the story, it changes everything. So the story you tell yourself changes everything about yourself. And so make sure that story is something that supports what you want in the long term.

Shauna Lynn Simon (38:05.922)

That is incredibly powerful. And I think just it applies across so many aspects of life. So I really think that's a powerful reminder there. Thank you so much. Shari, thank you so much for joining me on the show. It's been a true pleasure to have you here.

Shari Leid (38:18.21)

Thank you. This has been fun.

Shauna Lynn Simon (38:19.926)

Yeah, so thank you. So listen, if you're listening to this episode and what we're saying today is resonating with you, go ahead and check out Shari's retreat. But also don't forget to subscribe to us wherever you get your podcast and leave us a review. It really does help the algorithm. We really appreciate it. But as always, the best way that you can support not only this podcast, but your fellow women entrepreneurs, share this episode with someone that you know needs to hear it. All it takes is each listener sharing this episode with one other person. And we're going to grow this community together.

So I appreciate you and I thank you in advance for your help to share this. And I know the woman you share it with will thank you as well. Until next time, keep thriving.