Ep 87 Transcript: Stop Chasing Followers and Start Building a Community that Converts with Emily Rosales

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Shauna Lynn Simon (00:02)

Hello and welcome to the Real Women Real Business podcast. I am your host, Shauna Lynn Simon, and today I am joined by Emily Rosales and she is a brand strategy coach and messaging strategist at Simply Me. And she's proving that you don't need to have a massive following in order to build a thriving business. You really just need to have the right people that are paying attention.

Emily specializes in helping entrepreneurs who feel invisible online and helps them to transform their messaging so they stand out authentically and attract clients who actually are actually ready to buy. So she's got a done with you approach that blends coaching and copywriting and she's built a community of I think it's around 1500 Instagram followers who aren't just liking her post, but they are engaging, they're connecting and they are converting.

Her mantra is to be seen, be remembered, and be you. And in today's conversation, she's going to be sharing exactly how she has grown her business organically by personally connecting with every single person in her feed and why clarity matters more than posting more content. Clarity over quantity. So Emily, welcome to the podcast. Hi, Shauna. I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for the intro. I am so excited to have you. So let's start with your journey first of all. What led you to focus specifically on brand?

messaging and helping entrepreneurs to feel seen by the right people. Yeah. It actually goes back to your, some of your messaging is like an accidental CEO. Like you totally relate and identify with that because it does feel like a bit accidental. does feel like ⁓ branding chose me. ⁓ I first started in the coaching business. I started coaching, like the, I started the coaching business about two and a half years ago.

And that was being mentored like, Hey, you really have to hone in, figure out where, who you're going to help. You know, what's the problem you're solving. I first, I thought it was going to be a relationship coach, to be honest. I'm like, ⁓ interesting. I'm really good at relationships. ⁓ so let me learn all there is. But then I was like, no, I mean, I do feel like I really have much more of the business side of me. ⁓ and I just started to inquire more, inquire more. I'm like, ⁓

Everything I'm doing is all related to branding and marketing and more specifically branding. So it just kept like evolving and evolving. I'm like, this is it. Like this is it. I'm going all into this. But I mean, isn't branding relationships like I think this is the part that we're often thinking I just need to have the perfect logo and the perfect colors and the perfect post and the perfect reel to go viral. But in reality, it's relationships, is it not?

For sure. Yeah. ⁓ I mean, sometimes branding, lot of people could have different perspectives on it. And it's like, could be a little abstract. So there is definitely different elements to branding. And most people go to like, it's the logo. It's a design, but then they forget, or they don't know that there's just like a whole like iceberg underneath, you know, there's so much more to it. And it's that emotional connection. It's that how people like,

feel around your brand, what they associate it to. So there's just so much more and they forget about that because it doesn't seem sometimes. Well, so one of the things that you mentioned to me, like talking about like what our brand encompasses, like you said, it's all these different things. And one of the things you said to me in a previous conversation that we had was that you know every single person who follows you. You have interacted with them in some way.

And so, mean, that is the epitome of growing organically. I think we think that growing organically is go and follow a bunch of people and hope they follow you back or hope that your real happens to go viral without having to pay anything for it. But when you're talking organic, you're talking about real human connections, not just a bunch of random people on your feet. So tell me a little bit about how that all came to be. have how have you met all of these people and had these interactions with them? Yeah, so.

I actually started this whole new Instagram about like two and a half years ago, I would say. ⁓ I had the previous one for about 10 years, I would say. And that was when I was in the mortgage industry. So I had built a good amount of following. And then I went through like someone actually scammed me or got into my, that previous one. And I tried getting it back. I tried saving it.

So I was just like, you know what, this is a sign. was, it was around the time that I was starting the coaching business. like, Hey, I'm going to have to start from scratch. So I kind of was like very intentional about this one. Cause I was pretty, I was pretty sad about like losing that account. know, I'm So was like, you know, I'm starting a new business. ⁓

I want to, I want to have a whole different intention to this Instagram. ⁓ I want to have a whole different perspective. So it's like any, like now I'm like, as I started to grow it, I was like, okay, every person that I add or that I follow, I want to like have a personal connection to them. And that's kind of how it all started with just like setting up that intention where I'm like, okay. And, know, I, I had to get out there and share and talk about the business. So as I was networking, I was intentional about like.

creating these connections with these people and being like, hey, add me, let's follow each other's journey. So it was just like rusting that process. And I mean, you're saying two and a half years and you know, it's, and how many followers do you have? think the last time I checked, I think it was around 1500. Is that about accurate? Yeah. Give or take. And so this is not, I think I've got around the same thing. I think I'm around, I think I'm actually around 1700 right now, give or take. It's not a massive following. I'm not looking to have.

the tens of thousands of people, because like you said, I'm not going to have the connections with them. But I think I know a lot of people on my feed. But when I go to your profile, I was I pulled up one of your more recent posts and you had something like over 100 likes on it. And I think like 30 or 40 comments on it. And again, for 1500 people, those are some pretty good percentages of your audience who are legitimately engaging with your content.

And so as much as this might sound like, oh, like in two and a half years, she's only got like 1500 followers. But to get those reactions, here's the reality for anyone who's looking to build their social media. You don't even need 1500. If you've got 100 people on there, but they're super engaged, 100 people can give you all the business that you need. So to be able to have 1500 people and have that leveling of engagement is pretty powerful. So what's the difference, would you say, between building like an audience and building

a community then, because it sounds like what you're building here is more of a community. Yeah. So this is something that really fascinates me because, like you shared, you might only need 100, 200 followers of the right people that are actually interested and want to buy from you. And that's what fascinates me because sometimes we're so conditioned to evaluate on how many followers people have, but it's

It's like, okay, well, if these amount of people are super loyal, someone that can have like 20,000 followers or a hundred thousand, but they're averaging like 20 likes, 30 likes per post. Like, you know, that's, it's raising some flags. I'm going to, I'm going to be honest as someone who hosts a podcast, when people apply to be on the show, one of things that we do is we go through and take a look at some of their social media accounts. And we have had people on the show with.

massive followings and we've had people on the show who just started their Instagram account have maybe a couple hundred followers. But what we really care about is engagement. I don't care how many followers you have. I care more about how engaged your audience is. And that's how we're going to make that decision as to whether or not to bring you onto the show. Because we've seen I've seen people where they're like, I've like 40,000 followers and I'm looking at their posts, two likes, maybe one comment. Well, that's not getting you any business. That's just a vanity metric at that.

Right. And you said the perfect word. It's care. Like that's, that's the big reason it's like, care. And I'm designing this, this Instagram, not for myself, but in a way it's like, how can I serve like by having this platform? How can I share value? Like that's always in the back of my mind. So instead of it being more like self-fulfilling, like, Hey, I'm this person. So if you're hanging out with me, like if you identify with, no, it's more of like, how can I serve you? it.

It definitely changes the perspective of like, how can I serve my audience? All these people I connected with, if I can share value with you, if I can reach more of you, like that would be great. Oh, absolutely. And I know, you you're connecting with these people online and it's probably actually sounds to anyone who's listening like, I don't have time for that. And I will say like, I am someone I personally connect with everyone.

I do have a VA who helps me with my marketing, but if you've ever dropped into my DMs, you know it is me that's responding. You know how you know I will send you a voice note, like a personalized voice note so you know 100 % that it is me saying and I will say your name or your handle so that you know that it's me because that matters to me and I can have a VA help me with a post. And I think we all should have some help with our social media, with our branding, with our marketing. I think we're not most accidental CEOs, most entrepreneurs. You weren't meant to be a marketer.

So stop trying to be the marketer and just try to be a real person. feel like, know, like let's let's see what that looks like. So how often would you say you're posting on social media?

So the cadence is like, okay, it varies. I average like two reels a week. And then the other days are more of like educational infographics or things like that, but making sure that people like, people know that I'm like always there, like the consistent, the consistency might look different, but it's more of like, okay, I kind of change it up where it's, don't, I'm not literally think like posting like three posts, ⁓ a week or any, like a day, mean, but.

What's most like I go back even for branding, cause a big piece of branding is your target audience. Like really having a good understanding of who you're serving, what these paint, what, who these people are, you know, when a community comes together, it's because something is binding them. Something is bringing them together. They share something in common. So if you have much more understanding of like, okay, what is bringing these people? Like, what do we all identify with? You know, being a business owner, working like figuring it out and building a business.

So it's like, yeah, this is bringing all these people together. So coming back to that target audience, if you, if the business owner has much more of an understanding of who that audience is, it's a lot easier to start building that community that it's like, okay, these, these are my people. So the people that are actually liking them, they're not just any random person in the internet, just like, I know you, I know what you're doing. You're doing amazing stuff. You see me, I see you.

OK, so let's dig into this a little bit, though, because it's easy to say just know who your audience is, know who your ideal client is. It's a whole other thing to be able to actually capture them and find them and connect with them. So when we go back to let's go back to kind of the basics of identifying who that audience is, what do we need to know in order to be able to identify our ideal client?

More than anything, it's knowing the problem that the business owner solves. What's that pain point? Right. So, you know, for me, it was more of I'm targeting more of those people that have done amazing stuff, but they struggle to be seen. They have that like fear of being visible and they have overcome all of these stories. But.

They also have a pool to share more of their things, but they're holding back so much because of that fear. Oh, I love that. That's a really important thing to identify because I think we think we have to show up a certain way online and we often hold back. I have checked myself so many times over the years where I've done a post and it doesn't do as well as I want it to. I look at it and I'm like, well, that was pretty surface level now, wasn't it?

You know, can I go can I go deeper? And I will say anytime I share any real personal things about me, whether they relate to business or not, those are the things that really resonate with people. And it brings me my people and my people are the accidental CEOs. I mean, when I talk to people about what an accidental CEO is, so many people are like, my gosh, that's me. Like they're raising their hand. Of course, if you are someone who started with more passion than plan and find yourself running this business when all you want to do is this really cool thing that you're super good at and get paid to do it.

You're an accidental CEO and you've sort of just gone in the direction that the world has taken you, that life has taken you. And now you've got this incredible business, but you didn't necessarily take the time to equip yourself with all the things you needed to build that business intentionally. It's never too late, of course, to do that. But one of the things that I find with my accidental CEO is that I think keeps them hidden, keeps them. Let's be real. OK, not only do they keep them hidden, it keeps them from jumping from one quote guru to another.

about all the different things where someone's saying I've got the magic bullet. I've got the secret sauce. I've got the one hack that if you do this one thing, it's going to blow up your Instagram. It's going to blow up your DMS. It's going to blow up your website. You're to get a million clients like all of these were selling the sensationalism of all these things, but it doesn't have to be that complicated. Stop listening to what everybody else is saying. Well, listen to guess what we're saying, but you got to listen to yourself. Go inward like figure out what is it?

Like you said, what is the problem I'm solving? What is it that I'm doing? What are you building when you just when you're kind of all over the place, just going along with the flow and wherever the business takes you, that is not a path that you can actually follow. You need to understand what it is you're building and where you're actually going, because that's how you understand how and who you are serving. And that to me is like is kind of the key. And I know you've talked about this as well. That clarity. We need that clarity of exactly what it is that we're doing.

because everything else falls into line with that. So when clients are coming to you and saying that they've tried all the things, they feel like they're absolutely invisible online, what's sort of the first thing that you're doing with them? Yeah, mean, I love everything you just shared right now because it does, it is, I don't like being that marketer that says like, just do this one thing and like your life will be amazing. I...

like I'm not that person because I know the reality of things. How can I market that? That it's just, so I'm as transparent as possible. I'm just more of like, Hey, let me hear you. Let me just hear what's going on. And based on like what they're actually saying, like, Hey, ⁓ you know, I might, they think they need all these things. So it's more of like letting them be heard first and foremost, cause that they're, they're thinking that they, this is how they solve it. And it's like,

Well, first and foremost, we need to gain clarity. Go back to your story. Let me get to know you more. And as I'm listening to this, I'm also thinking, they're probably thinking, when they're coming to you, they're probably a little overwhelmed as well. They're like, I don't have a lot of time to do this. So that's probably why they're looking for some of those quick instant hacks. And they want you to tell them, I'm going to change your Instagram account in two days. And you only have to spend five minutes a day or whatever it is for them.

but you're not trying to sell them on a gimmick, you're not trying to sell them on a hook. But realistically, what does this look like? What does the process look like when someone is trying to get a bigger reach online? Because people are to be thinking like, this going to take two and a half years? For example, in two and a half years, you've built your account to a really powerful account. I'm sure that how you started off is also different than how it grows now.

But what's someone looking like in terms of timeline if they're saying, just really need to get more visibility, I really need to get out there more, and they're looking for a quick hack for that. But the reality is you've got a better solution. But what does that timing look like?

So I go back to, yeah, I mean, the beginning might be like the most challenging just to kind of get the rhythm. It's like, who knows? Maybe I might grow exponentially even more with followers soon, you know, but I knew that this was the foundation is usually the like, Ooh, let's get some momentum going. that's kind of being like communicating that, that like the beginning might be the most challenging, but it goes back. Like branding is long-term. this branding is for

people like this is my audience is people who are in the long game. Like if you're just trying to do quick fixes and trying to get rich fast, you're not my audience. But this is so key because what you're saying here too, though, not only are they not your audience, but you are so clear on who your audience is. And that's what's really important because you're not going to care about 300 people who didn't follow you. You're going to care about the 10 or 20 people who did follow you.

because they are your audience. And this is the key of why do we care how many followers we have if most of them are not the right people? Exactly. So I go back to even branding, like branding is more than anything. What brand does is help establish trust. Right. I'm trying to earn the trust of these key people, like key decision makers, like amazing people. So I'm building everything around.

helping people be a trusted advisor, being someone that it's like, ⁓ going to this Instagram, I feel like I can trust this person. I feel like this isn't someone that's just gonna tell me to do all these things and pretend that life is amazing. Okay, so we know that we need the know, like, and trust factor, but I think the trust is one of the hardest things to build online. So what gets you trust? We go back authenticity. ⁓

You know, you could be talking to a really successful person that has done so many cool things. They have, you know, established a good amount of success. And it's like, sometimes those people are so guarded because they think that most people are just out there like, like to get their money or something. And I felt that like speaking to those people. So it's more of like, I want them to feel like, Hey, no, like I want to establish a connection.

It's way past the money. You it's about purpose. It's about, you know, being in the same like being in a in community of like minded individuals where we can help each other grow and help ourselves push our missions forward. Yeah. And I think like we want to hear the good, the bad and the ugly from the people that we want to trust. Right. Like we want to know. We want to know the things that are happening behind the scenes. We want to know things that they are embarrassed about because they're asking us to be vulnerable.

and to trust them and to put certain elements of our lives in their hands, whether it's about someone who's going to do marketing for you, someone who's going to clean your house or do some renovations or be your dentist, whatever that service is that they're essentially selling you, you need to feel like you have confidence that you're going to hand them your hard earned money and in return, they are going to provide you with something that has quality, that has worth.

And that is going to improve or enhance your life in some way. That's essentially what we're all buying, right? Everything that we buy is supposed to improve something in our life, whether we like it or not. Don't get me wrong. I do not enjoy spending money on my car. I take it in for an oil change. I get it back. It looks the exact same as when it went in. But I am a lot of money short. It's caused me a lot of money to do this. And sometimes they'll fix the brakes or replace the spark plugs or whatever. I know you can tell them it's total car person, right? But the point is that I get the car back and it looks essentially the exact same.

I don't enjoy spending that money, so I really got to make sure that I am trusting the person who's taking care of my vehicle, that they are doing the things that are in my best interest. So even if it's something that's kind of more hidden, we've got to have that trust factor. All right, I want to dig into this a little bit more, and we're going to do exactly that right after this quick message. All right, welcome back to the Real Women Real Business podcast, where we're speaking with Emily Rosales from Simply Me, and we're talking about how to organically grow your business online and focusing more on the

quality over the quantity. so we talked a little bit about we've talked about the content that we need and about building that authenticity and building that trust through that and ensuring that you've got a real brand message. What are some things? What are some other things that people need to know about their brand if they're thinking like, OK, well, my brand, I know a lot of people, for example, they started their brand with a logo they designed in Canva and they're just like, I'm just you know, a lot of people in this audience are home stages, their interior designers.

I know how to make houses look fantastic. I'm just going to go and do that. And that's about as much thought as they've put into their brand. And there might be other people who have put more thought into their brand, but you mentioned earlier this whole iceberg that is our brand. What are all the things that we're not even thinking our brand includes? Yeah, I love that. And it's true. A lot of people just like, I got my logo, I got my design, I'm ready to go out there and do my thing, you know? And then,

Very common. It's common. And that's why I'm here. Basically I'm here to kind of clear that like, Hey guys, we're moving into a whole new era of AI. You really have to know what's making you different. What do you stand for? Like that, because if you don't really take time to get like your foundation down as far as like, who are you as a business? Why did you start, you know, taking time to answer these questions and defining them.

So you take time to answer your why. Why did you start? Like, yeah, obviously, because you know how to make houses beautiful. Like, that's a great reason. ⁓ But there's more to it. There's more to it. Every brand is unique, is differentiation, but you've got to give it definition. Most things are vague, and it's like, OK, but let's get specific. What is your story? What's your background? How do you do this different than

the other home interior designer, you know, it's about defining that. So the brand strategy is the foundation and that's the iceberg underneath. it's, yeah. Yeah. And like, I just want to kind of dig into this a little bit more than where you're talking about this, this clarity and, and understand like your why, because I think that we gloss over this so much.

I really hate using the term vision. I'll be honest because I feel like everyone talks about like, what's your vision? And vision is meant to be like this beautiful statement that no one reads, that no one knows, that no one understands. And the reality is that you do need to understand what your vision is. And when clients come to me, I always ask them, know, what are we building here? Do you have clarity of your vision? And often I'll get people saying, know exactly what my vision is. Great. What's your vision? Well, I'm going to build, let's say it's a home staging business. I'm going to build a home staging business.

where I'm doing about 15 to 20 houses every month. Great. What else? What do mean what else? Well, I don't know. mean, how many members of your team do you have? What's the culture like there? ⁓ What are you working towards in the end? Like, are you selling the business? Are you going to pass it down to someone? How many years do you want to be in the business? What are the types of clients that you're serving? Are you focusing on real estate agents? Are you focusing on investors? Are you focusing on builders?

You know what type of inventory do you want to have? What sort of the style that you want to be known for? Or do you have a bit of a chameleon style where you can adapt whatever the houses are? Do you want to be known for the person who holds the clients hands every step of the way or the one who comes in makes magic happening and then gets the heck out? Like what are the things we want to be known for? And when I start drilling them on some of these questions, they're they kind of look a little bit like a deer in headlights because they haven't taken the time to really answer these like I don't know. I mean like I'm really good at what I do.

And if I have one more client that tells me that what sets them apart is, ⁓ our level of service, our customer service is the best. That's great. I believe you that your customer service is the best. But newsflash, everyone's customer service is the best. So why is yours the best and how does that translate to the clients? And these are all the things that going back to what you were saying about this, the brand strategy, all this plays in to that brand strategy. When you know all these things,

that messaging becomes so much more clear. You know exactly how to resonate with people. But instead, still see people and I'll admit I've been guilty of this. I have caught myself more times than I can count focusing on the features of what I do rather than the benefits. Like we talk about, oh, I'm going to give you a consultation and it's going to take this long. And these are the things I'm going to review for myself, for my coaching, for example. I can talk about, you know, one of the big things I'm helping a lot of.

a lot of clients with right now is acquisitions and selling their business. So those that are getting into the business by buying it and those that are selling it. Well, I can tell them, you know, OK, you're acquiring a business. I'll help review your SOPs and the pricing structure and your contracts and all these things. But if I don't tell them why that matters, they don't care. It's just a checklist of things. That's your internal checklist. But why does all of this matter? So in the brand strategy, are you taking?

taking their services and kind of breaking them down to the why of each. When you're saying you've got to know the why of what you're doing, how deep are we getting on this? Because I think people who are listening are probably still a little bit surface level on this. How deep are we getting on this why? Yeah. No, I love that. Yeah, and it goes to, mean, I feel like a big message, part of my personal message is helping people, educating people on the reason why they're doing things. Right.

That's actually a huge part of my, you're telling them why they're doing the things that they're doing. Well, it's, it's more of, they know they have to do all this. They know, like, let me educate you on why it's important for you to do this. Gotcha. Okay. For example, educating people on marketing, educating people on, their branding, because that's how actually people will connect. They'll be like,

⁓ this is because it's like, yeah, all the features, the strategies and everything. Like, of course, we all need to do that. And we know it's part of business. But the moment you realize what is actual reason behind it, you actually give it more like you connect to it more because you have more meaning to it. Right. mean, think about if you're booking a trip and all you're getting is a list of things of like, OK, you're to get a hotel and it's going to have this many beds and

These are the features that it has in it. If that's all that you're seeing versus maybe you're seeing a commercial where someone's got their feet in the sand or they're running along the beach or doing some sort of activity like windsurfing where like you're putting yourself in that experience. You're feeling the wind. You're feeling the sand. You're feeling all those experiences. Which one's going to actually sell you? And I think also one of the ways that I always get blown away by this is, again, I work with a lot of home stagers. Literally the job of a home stager.

is to help buyers to envision themselves in the house. So we are creating lifestyle experiences throughout that house. And then when it comes to our own brand, we forget all of that. We can stage the house, but we can't stage our actual brand. So we just looked at it that way. I mean, we're doing all the time. Yeah. Correlation and connection there because you got to feel into it. You got to like connect to it.

Exactly, yes. And so whatever business you're in, you've got to stage your brand. You've got to make it marketable and sellable. And, you know, think about the different commercials that we see. mean, Coca-Cola is a great example. Every time they open up a bottle of Coca-Cola, you are seeing the bubbles. You are hearing the pop when they open it. You are watching them drink it, hearing them drink it. You're you're experiencing you're almost feeling what that feels like. And so how often if you are someone who actually drinks.

So does, are you watching a commercial thing and, I should probably go get a Coca-Cola. Like, how often is that actually happening? Because they have nailed it. mean, if ever there's a brand to study about really being able to create that experience, that is one to do it. So now in that case, of course, most people have experienced what a Coca-Cola is. our experience, they don't know who we are. How do we get them to feel what it's like to work with us without actually knowing who we are?

Yeah. So I, I like working backwards. think it's, mean, kind of being like, all right, start with the end in mind. So being able to help people, like I personally like love helping people, like they actually feel safe in my presence. They feel like they can be themselves, like they can drop their guards, but there's, there was a lot of work that goes into being able to provide that space. So like we share, it's like, okay, there's all these tools, there's coaching, there's vision.

There's modalities, there's features, but all of these features, modalities, things, they're all meant to get you to that feeling, get you to that transformation. But the client's mind is just thinking about the feeling, thinking about the transformation. They're not the experts in branding. They're not the experts in coaching. Like we are, they just want to get here. We're selling them. Like I'm going to coach you. I'm going to, you know, it's like they don't.

connect. That's been my experience. So it's more of like, what do I want my clients to actually feel to be transformed? it's like having by doing that work myself. It's more of having my brand speak for itself. Right now. That makes sense that and being able to share that. Like I've often said, you know, anytime you're going through any sort of transformation in your own business, sharing that with your audience as well so they can see truly behind the scenes.

the journey that you're on, because that really helps to make them, for them to connect with you that much more. And that's part of the content as well sometimes, because I like to balance like, I'm, you know, I know I'm positioned as the expert, like this is what I do, but I also like my audience in into a little bit about like my vulnerability, like, hey, you know, there's, because then sometimes they're only thinking that this is just this life, but it's like, I got to also show them that it's, sometimes things is not perfect. Sometimes we grieve, sometimes we're sad.

And that's Yeah, think it's important that we're always showing up as our true authentic self. Sometimes, yeah, we might need to hold back a little bit, and we don't need to share every opinion, every thought that enters into our mind. But the things that we feel like our audience can actually appreciate and connect with, why are we holding those things back as much as we are? Yeah, I mean, it could be. I am pretty strategic about it, because obviously, I mean, don't, you're not, like, it's...

sharing every thought or move. course. And you lose credibility. It's okay to be strategic about the fact that like, yeah, you're sharing bits and pieces of your life so that people can resonate more. Even when I do share my like some vulnerable posts, people are like, thank you for sharing that. Like, you mean, hey, I needed this. And know, sometimes it takes a lot out of me to like be vulnerable on camera and share it. And then it's like, ⁓ thank you, God.

Maybe I can feel the cringe afterward or something like that. then I get these messages. like, it was worth posting that. It's funny sometimes. There are times where I've done that actually and posted something that I thought, if anything, people are going to really dislike it. People are going to cringe at it. Like you said, they're going to. I might even get some negative comments or something. And then it always blows me away how many positive comments I end up getting. And it just goes to show how

sometimes in our own head, we're seeing things differently than if we put them out to the world and seeing what people actually need. And so I want to go back to just talking about how you've got these authentic connections with your audience and with the community that you're building. How are you balancing that authentic connection with

know boundaries and such like you know how are you making sure that like that it sounds I'm guessing to the average person listening to this. It sounds like this could take a lot of work like if you're getting say 30 comments on your post. Are you responding to every comment? Are you are people landing in your DMS like what is this looking like on a day to day basis for you to manage and navigate? Yeah, I mean.

I don't know if in the future when it has like, wait, like way more comments that I'm unaided, but at the moment, like I do have the bandwidth and the capability to, um, to respond and to connect and to do what I can to, but most importantly, I always, I feel like the boundaries come from within. So I'm kind of like already setting my boundaries. So it's like, I, you know, if I'm already going to close out a conversation, I am pretty intentional about it.

I'm ready. I not to hurt your feelings or anything, but you know, I've learned my lessons from being a chronic people pleaser. So, so you're recovering. I get it. Yes. It's addiction. Yes. ⁓ and that's good, but yeah, I didn't think that's important as well to ensure that you've got those boundaries. ⁓ you know, I even went through it with a friend recently that, ⁓

They were upset because they were messaging me pretty much every day and I wasn't always responding and they were asking me questions and I wasn't answering. And I finally had to have a very candid conversation and explain that, ⁓ you know, what they were expecting, what their expectations didn't align with my personality and how I manage things. ⁓ When people are truly in my orbit and connecting with me on a real level, I am more than happy to connect and I want to learn more.

I lead with curiosity. like to ask a lot of questions and really learn about people. I don't, if someone puts an expectation in terms of a response time on me, that's where I struggle. And I'll be honest, if I'm engaged in the conversation, I'm a pretty quick response time. But there are times where, yeah, know, just life is happening and I do disconnect sometimes personally. because my Instagram is a business account, that's also my personal brand, that's also a personal account.

I'm not on it as much on the weekends, for example, because I might be disconnecting and being doing more social things, but I am going to respond when I get back to it. And ⁓ I personally find it doesn't take me more than about 15 minutes a day, give or take, to respond to everything that's in there. ⁓ I like to be fairly intentional and go in a few times a day to do some responses. But for yourself, are you going in multiple times a day? Are you going in?

every day, are you going in at a specific time and are you putting any sort of time limits on it or like, how are you managing that? Yeah, I mean, I do go on, I mean, daily. ⁓ So yeah, the connections I have, the people that I mean, I am connected with, I like, I shared like, you know, I'm connected with most of them personally, we know each other, we have some type of relationship. So I know who they are just as much as

They know who I am. Like I know, I just like, already know certain people that I can see myself working in the future. see visions of like, but I just know it's like nurturing or, know, okay. I'm, I'm putting this out there for the, these specific people that I know. And it's, it, that's the beauty of the community. It's the fact that like, I know their lives as well, just as much as well. So it's kind of like, Hey, it's easier to set boundaries. It's easier to be like,

You know that I'm not really like, also kind of disconnect on Saturday and Sunday. So I got back to you Monday morning. ⁓ So it's like, there's no hard feelings. So what if this is someone, if someone's listening to this and they've got kind of that addiction to the notification, like the notification goes off and like, need to check my Instagram right away. And as we both know, that can be incredibly disruptive and distracting ⁓ and can kind of derail your day at times.

I'm assuming that from what you're telling me, it sounds like you're not someone who's instantly replying on Instagram. So what's the solution if there's someone where they're like, I want to have these connections, but every time someone comments or messages me, I'm going to be wanting to look at my phone. Like, how do we, how do we set those boundaries? I turned off my notifications. So it's whenever I go on to the app. So it's, it goes back to the personal boundaries where it's like, I,

these like, I mean, well, I mean, the best I love these people. And if they care as well, they should understand that if I don't, unless it's an urgent thing where it's a client and we are, you know, enrolling, or they're really interested in my services, then I'm easily able to identify that and get to that. if my brain is kind of categorizing, it's like, Hey, we're just having a simple conversation right now. I mean, we're good. There's no urgency here.

Right. able to identify that where I'm like, oh, OK, I know I need to get back to these people because they've been inquiring, they are interested, they want to call. OK, these are on my priority list. Right. Other than that, I'll get back to you when I can. Exactly. Yeah, one of the things that I always had on, or I have it on both my interior design business and I have this on my home staging business, Instagram accounts, is an auto reply that simply says, thank you so much for your message. We don't monitor this at all times.

So for a speedy response, please email us and gives our email address or visit our website and gives our website address. And we did that mainly because, for example, like I had an admin who sat in the office answering the phone and respond to emails all day long, booking calls, but not once was she ever signed into our Instagram account. So I think we have this kind of feeling of like, well, someone might be contacting me through Instagram and they need to book with me right away. And I don't want to lose that opportunity. And I get that.

But there are ways of even mitigating that so you don't feel so connected and so chained to it. And if that is the case, then you need an admin who's monitoring that so that you're not doing it yourself. But I'm very much like you. I have notifications turned off on my Instagram. Yeah. And I mean, I learned that my, like, I had a whole, even a whole different approach to an Instagram and whole different approach to my boundaries through, like, my past career in mortgages because, you know, I was such a, people pleaser that I'm like, my gosh, I need to get back to these people.

Like I was always constantly putting them before me, before my needs. So it's like getting to the point of completely burning out to, I'm like, ⁓ Whoa, yeah, you guys know, I care, but there is definitely a balance. And if these people truly want to work with me and if at that moment I'm not able to get back to them, maybe in a few hours, they would understand. Right. And I couldn't agree more. mean, and

To be honest, if you're actually a client of mine, you're not communicating with me on Instagram. We've got other means that you can get ahold of me much more urgently. And so if you're contacting me and I'm responding right away, to me, that's almost more of a red flag that I clearly don't have anything better to do. So I'm not serving my clients. Whereas if I'm not responding for a few hours, it's because I'm serving my clients and that's gonna be what's gonna be my top priority. Yeah, and also, mean, also the boundaries of like work hours, like, hey, like I'm on nine to six, but like past six,

Like, OK, maybe I get back to you, but you're not guaranteed. Exactly. I mean, if you're in my inner circle, you're one of my friends, you know that anything past 6 o'clock, that's fair game there. Like, there's very, very little chance you're going to hear back from me. Because frankly, that's a couple of hours before my bedtime, and I'm starting to decompress and zone out and move into my bedtime routine. I'm not out in the evenings most times during the week. On the weekends, I'm still in bed pretty early.

I mean, I don't have any expectation that someone's going to respond to me at seven or eight o'clock at night. But that being said, if you are more of a night person, you're someone who is on your Instagram at midnight. And that's when you're responding all the power to you. I'm not going to reply back. If I do, there's something definitely wrong just with me, not with you. But, you know, pick the times. Of course, that makes the most sense to you. And if you're someone where you don't want to be chained to it during the weekend, you want to respond on weekends. Or if you feel like that's what connects with your crowd more, depending on what it is, what type of business you're in, you do you.

You know, don't let us dictate it, but make sure that you do have boundaries and that they they are something that does work for you. So honestly, Emily, this has been so incredible. I have so appreciated everything you've been sharing here. I'm sure a lot of people who have just been listening to all the latest algorithm hacks and how to get a viral reel, which I've talked about numerous times on this show, a viral reel does not get you more clients.

I know very few people who have ever said that their reel is going viral has actually brought in business. So instead, if we can take that vanity metric away as one of our goals and instead focus on building some real connections, I feel like this is where we're going to really start, this is where the magic's really gonna happen. So now, Emily, if people wanna work with you, what is the best way for them to get in touch with you? Are they allowed to follow you on Instagram? Will you connect with them there?

Yes, for sure. If they follow me, I'll introduce myself and be like, hey, how's it going? Get to know them, yes. But other than Instagram, what's the best way for them to get in touch with you? I mean, Instagram, my website. There's always a personal phone number if they would like, LinkedIn, Facebook. So you're all over the place, basically. Anywhere that you need to be, you are there.

And I believe you told me earlier that you also do free discovery calls. So if someone's interested in working with you, you'll have a free call with them to identify whether or it's a good fit. Yeah. I mean, most of my business is based off of alignment. it's like, if these people are like whoever's listening and resonating with like, Hey, I know I need to get out there, but I need to do it in a way that actually aligns with me. Like I don't, I don't want to be doing it like all these other quote unquote influencers or feel like I have to be this person in order to

show myself. No, could be in a way that like your visibility is in a way that is authentic to you. And it's discovering that and having a, and having a plan for that. So if you feel like you're actually like you're in business and you know, you have to market yourself, you know, you have to share more of who you are. That's like, I would love to have a, a free discovery call. Amazing. So now someone's listening to this episode today and they're going to take

one thing away from today and put it into action, what do you hope that one takeaway is? I would say like...

to be bold, like, like stretch yourself a little bit and maybe share one authentic video on your story, sharing about who you are and what you love. Love that. That even starts with your brand because that's who you are. And by you showing face or even just talking to the camera, a few words. I mean, it's, it goes so far. I think that's so key too, because

You know, we often just assume, if people have been following me for a while, they already know who I am. Do they though? Like, you can never do enough reminders about who you are, what your brand is. And if you haven't come right out and said it at any time, now is a perfect time to do that. Yeah. And brand is about consistency. It's just like doing the reps. It's like you're working out every day. Absolutely. And just because you've said it once doesn't mean that you don't need to say it again. Keep repeating yourself. Repetitiveness is actually key to success as well. That's where that consistency comes in.

Well, Emily, thank you so much for joining me today. This has been such a pleasure. I appreciate everything that you've shared here. So many really great things that I people can really start putting into practice right away. So thank you. That was a lot of fun. Thank you so much. Amazing. So listen, if you're listening to this episode today and what we're saying here is resonating with you, I hope that you will allow us to continue to join you on your journey of entrepreneurship by tuning in each week. We drop new episodes every Tuesday at 7 a.m. Eastern time.

And of course, don't forget to subscribe to us on your favorite podcast platform. Leave us a review wherever you get your podcast. And if this episode is really hitting home for you, the best way that you can support not only this podcast, but the other women entrepreneurs in your life is to share this episode with someone that you know really needs to hear it. It helps us. It helps them. It helps us all to empower each other. So until next time, keep thriving.