Ep 86 Transcript: Why Being an Introvert Could Be Your Biggest Advantage in Business with Inga Faison-Cavitt

This transcript was auto-generated and may contain errors in spelling or inaccuracies in the spoken words.

Shauna Lynn Simon (00:02)

Hello and welcome to the Real Women Real Business podcast. I am your host, Shauna Lynn Simon. And what if I told you that being an introvert could actually be your secret weapon in sales and in business growth? Well, today's guest is actually living proof of exactly that. I'm excited to introduce you to Inga Faison-Cavitt, also known as Inga Fay And Inga left her engineering career to follow that entrepreneurial spirit. And I know this is resonating with all my accidental CEOs out there. And here's what's remarkable.

She grew to the top five percent of her direct sales company, but didn't get there by forcing herself to become an extrovert or using any sort of high pressure sales tactics that would leave her feeling socially and energetically drained. And so, in fact, she's proven that you don't need to be the loudest person in the room in order to build a thriving business. She is an authenticity strategist. So Inga has developed the authentic.

sales accelerator method, which is specifically for introverted female entrepreneurs. And her approach is all about treating people like humans, not numbers, leveraging your natural strengths, deep listening, genuine relationship building and scaling your business without burning that social battery and absolutely draining it to zero. So if you ever felt like you need to change your personality to succeed in sales or in business or if networking events are leaving you completely exhausted,

You're going to love today's conversation because we're going to be shifting how you think about growing your business. So let's dive in. Inga, welcome. Thank you so much for joining me. Thank you so much for having me, Shauna Lynn. I'm excited about this conversation. As I mentioned before we hit record, I feel like this is one of those conversations that doesn't get nearly enough attention or air time. But before we get into your methods and such, I want to talk a little bit about what got you here in the first place. So you were in an engineering career and you decided to become an entrepreneur.

What made you realize that maybe the traditional hustle and network constantly advice wasn't going to work for you as an introvert when you were starting your own business? Yeah, well, I realized that when I first started in my direct sales business, I was trained by extroverts. And of course, what do people teach you? They teach you what they know, right? Of course. So when that came about,

I always felt kind of icky when I was doing what they were telling me to do. I felt like I really wasn't truly being myself. And I felt like that energy was coming off and people were really feeling that I wasn't being ⁓ my genuine self. So COVID was really somewhat of an eye opening experience for me because at that point, and everybody knows we were all scrambling, like trying to figure out how we were going to do our businesses the way, we'll make money in this new normal that we were in, right? Sure.

At that particular time, I felt like that was my window of opportunity to really kind of try some things because I couldn't go and talk to my mentor about it because she didn't know what she was doing either, right? Nobody. So that was my way. That was kind of my grounds of really just testing different things and different methods. And that's when I realized, I don't have to do it like that. I can do it like this now and really feel good about what I'm doing. So that's how it really started.

And that's, think that's, ⁓ you mentioned that, you this was at a time where you were sort of given a lot of grace in terms of being able to practice things, you because we were all kind of figuring things out. So was a lot easier at that time, I'm sure. But like you said, there's all these different sort of stereotypical ways to sales. Like what are some of the things, if you can use some examples of things that you were being taught to do that just weren't sitting right with you? Because I think that's going to resonate with some people listening.

Yeah. So I guess one of the first things that I can think about is giving someone a sincere compliment. Now, granted, you know, just in normal things, you would probably think, well, what's wrong with that? Well, when you give somebody a sincere compliment and then you follow it up with some kind of question about if they would be interested in your product or service, it's no longer sincere. It's done with a motive. OK. And people can very much sense that.

And I remember a lady saying, well, do you tell everybody their shoes are cute? And it's so funny that you're saying this, because as you were saying that, my first thought is I compliment people all the time. Right. But I'm not trying to sell them anything. I'm just complimenting them. And I've often said that, you know, a great sign of confidence is your ability to be able to recognize things and other people and call it out and be able to compliment them. But like you said, as soon as you're following that up with

and can I interest you in or however you're phrasing it? Do you find some days when you get up in the morning, it's such a leading question and you probably feel almost like you're the salespeople at the local mall who are yelling to people to try, can you just try this hand cream? I've got this hand cream sample. No, no, just come over here for a second. I just wanna talk to you for a second. And now all of a sudden, because I get it all the time, every time I'm walking by someone who's selling something there, I was like, great hair, thanks. But I also know,

it's going to lead somewhere else. if I'm just out at the store and someone's like, great hair, I'm like, thank you so much. I appreciate that. Those are two very different compliments. Very different. Yes, very different. So that's really where it started. So it was really kind of, yeah, I want to be successful and they're telling me I have to do it this way, but this way really doesn't feel good to me. And I'm really not sure what else to do because I don't know what else to do. So like you said.

COVID happened, that was my training ground for, well, they don't know what to do either. So let me do the tracking. Well, so a lot of the women that are listening to this are what I like to affectionately refer to as my accidental CEOs. these are essentially they're entrepreneurs, but they're entrepreneurs who followed more passion than plan. They saw this really amazing thing that they wanted, that they were good at, that they wanted to share with the world with some sort of gift or some sort of passion. So they're kind of struggling a lot of times with the business side of things.

And I think a lot of them are introverted as well. And like you said, they're trying to almost feeling like they're performing and being fake. So how can they start to approach like everyone tells them, well, networking is a thing that you need to do. And in fact, you actually host a networking event every month. So like you're not against networking. It's just about how we do network. It's framework, it's specific framework for introverts. And one of the things is I have a

I call it my 3P framework for networking for introverts. One is first and foremost, we have to prepare. Introverts are not good from shooting from the lips or the hips. We have to have a plan when we're going in to a networking event. One, because as introverts, we drain our social battery interacting. So very similar to a cell phone, like when you're talking on the phone, when you're...

sending a text, maybe even getting on the internet. Your battery is draining. So as I'm doing this interview right now, my battery is draining. So as a result of that, I have to be able to plan my activities around an event like this. I'm not going to instantly go right back to work when this is over with. I'm gonna probably go walk and just have some time by myself.

to recharge, because that's how, as introverts, we recharge. We recharge alone and we drain our battery when we are interacting. So when you have a plan, when you're going to a networking event, one of the first things I tell folks is you got to know how many people you're going to talk to. Who are you going to, who are you looking for? Are you looking for collaboration partners or are you looking for referrals? I mean, collaboration partners, are you looking for prospects? Those are quite different.

And going in there, knowing that and knowing how many people that you're going in there to talk to. So when you get that number, you can just leave. Cause that was one of the big things for me when I was going into a networking event. And I know with the folks that I have in my community, the same thing for them is the networking event is from four to seven. So I gotta be there for three hours. No, girlfriend, you go talk to who you need to talk to and be bye-bye.

You don't have to stay there for the full time. And just them knowing that, it was just kind of a weight lifted off their shoulders. Cause it's like, okay, well that's cool. That's cool to know that I not have to be there all that time. But I like that you're setting some goals. You're setting some benchmarks of here's what I need to achieve. And one thing, and forgive me if I'm skipping ahead to one of the other two P's that you've yet to talk about, but I don't know that you intentionally meant for this to be in the prepare, but you mentioned how.

after the interview today, for example, because I do see the irony in you doing a podcast interview as an introvert, of course. But you mentioned you're probably going to go for a walk afterwards. Is that a part of your prepare, as in plan for what you're going to be doing, like leaving yourself time so that you know you're not going from that networking event to some social gathering that's also going to drain you? are you, is part of your prepare to plan for?

how you're going to recharge that battery afterwards. And like I said, forgive me if I'm skipping ahead to one of the other stuff. I felt like that was such a key thing. It's the third P. It's the third P which is pause. Okay. Perfect. Yeah. So it is the third P is to pause. Sorry, go ahead. Yes. Yeah. So you prepare. So I talked about prepare. The next P is to push and it's to push yourself out of your comfort zone. We have

When I say we, I'm speaking of introverts, we have our own inner party. Our party is an inner party where an extrovert party is out hanging out with a whole bunch of friends. have what's called a resting face. I'm going to say it that way. That often people look at us and think that we're mad or we're upset or even depressed. But it's not that we're mad, upset or depressed. We're just really enjoying what's going on in our head. And as a result of that, we may have this look on our face that

something is wrong, but it's just like, we're just so intrigued by all this stuff that's hanging, that's going on in our head that the other person has no idea about. And then people come up to you and say, well, smile. I'm having my inner smile already in my head. It's just, don't get that part. And I understand, you don't understand what it means to be an introvert. And that most of the time people are saying that are extroverts. So it's being cognizant of that as well. And then as you mentioned, Shauna Lynn, about

setting those boundaries to give yourself that time to recharge and that call that pause. So it can take as long as 12 hours to maybe 48 hours, depending on how much interaction is actually going on for an introvert to fully recharge. knowing yourself, you got to know thyself to really be able to understand, I'm not going to be able to go out every day like an extrovert is going to be able to do.

I'm probably going to need to space out my networking activities maybe every other day. And then not only that, any other interactions that I may have, like if I have a church meeting or if I have something going on with my kids' school. I mean, all of these things are draining your battery and being cognizant of those type of activities so you can plan accordingly. So you can be truly your best self and not be the antisocial.

a person that people typically think we are. But yeah. And what I like about what you're sharing here as well is that this is also really important for extroverts for a few reasons. Number one is even extroverts need sometimes to recharge themselves. And so these are great tips that I think anyone can use. But aside from that, I think it's important for extroverts to understand that not everyone's built like them and understand a little bit more. I love what you were saying about having this inner party, like having this inner conversation in your head.

I remember I had this one friend, I we're still friends. We don't hang out nearly as often because, you know, life and all. But we used to this was back in my days of going out to the nightclubs and she would come out and she would have a great time. But people would constantly ask me whether or not she was having a good time, because if you looked at the expression on her face, it didn't look like she was. She was very quiet, very reserved, but loved going to the clubs. Just didn't interact the same way. And I'd look over and I'm like, no, she's she's fine. She's having a great time. I could tell the difference between her

I'm just in my own space taking everything in kind of face versus the I'm miserable and want to get out of here kind of face. They were two different faces to me. And I learned that from from her. But it's interesting that you're saying that, though, because I'll admit, as an extrovert, there are times where I look at people and I think like, like, they having a bad day? Like, I don't know them as well. So just be more in tune to that. But I will also say, though, to your one point of like it is twenty twenty five.

I believe we are past the point of asking people to smile. Are we not? It happens, me. It actually happened to me a few months ago when I was out in Las Vegas and I'm walking by a group of guys and they called out to me and I turned to look at them just with a regular face and they told me to smile and I to smile and I put them back in their place and said, oh honey, it's 2025. And I believe we are long past the point where you get to tell a woman to smile. He did not enjoy that very much. Oh, sure he didn't.

But to your point though, like, yeah, I think, like, I understand that it still happens. It shouldn't. So extroverts, want you to be hearing this and understanding. So instead of saying to someone like, you should smile, maybe we just start having a conversation with them and just connecting. So I think this is really good for both the introverts and the extroverts. So now you mentioned that clients kind of tend to avoid that small talk, that chit chat. I think you used a few different terms for it, but.

What is meaningful business conversation look like for introverts if if we're not starting with the the usual like, the weather out there or the latest sports game or whatever else is going on in the news that day? How do we get into those conversations in a natural way? Yeah, so I believe in the one liner intro. And basically what you're doing is you're sharing with someone who your target market is and the transformation that you provide through your product or your service.

And I love this because it really allows people to truly understand what you do. So instead of somebody just telling you, well, I'm a lawyer. What does that mean? Right. Or, yeah, I'm a doctor. OK, I'm an engineer by training. remember I went to this event and the girl had told me she was an engineer, but she didn't say I'm just an engineer. She told me that she was a toilet bowl engineer.

Okay, okay. So when somebody comes at you like that, then you're like, tell me more, tell me more. Exactly. So with just that little introduction that allowed the conversation to flow outside of the weather, the traffic and the little ball game. Okay. Because you were able to really get in and ask questions about what she just shared with you. So it was more, was the flow of a conversation.

than talking about stuff that really doesn't matter. We'll just say it that way. So that's what I encourage folks to do. And I've noticed that when you interact with people in that way, they are able to instantaneously find connection or say, well, I served that same group of folks. I didn't realize you did that, but I do XYZ for them while you do this for them. So it really allows the connection to truly be built.

more so than just kind of talking about stuff haphazardly and eventually getting to the ideas and concepts that you wanna discuss. And that's one of the reasons why I'm a firm believer of sharing that information in my monthly webinar that I have. And it's all about building authentic relationships in business, because business is a team sport. I'm a firm believer of that. And that we were meant to do business together and grow together, but the way that we can grow and collaborate together

is to be able to really tell each other who we serve and how we serve them so we can see how we can fit together. I think that's the true niche on and being able to do that. And then after you find your niche and find out they have the same niche as you, then you guys can really rock and roll together, you know, and make some good things happen because the niche is the same, but the service is different or the product is different.

I love good collaboration. am constantly connecting with new, I call them my success partners and I bring them in for my clients and they help to just dive deeper into areas that I know my clients could really use support with. And I feel like a solid collaboration like that is so important, but you gotta have those more meaningful conversations. Like you said, if someone just told me, well, I'm a business coach, cool. We may or may not be a good fit to do some overlapping, but tell me a little bit more.

I have Anastasia Hay, for example, who I've had on the show previously. She is a fashion empowerment coach. And as soon as she told me that, like, I need to know more about what that is. Because here I'm thinking she's a stylist, she's a fashion designer, or something along those lines. No, no, no. She takes everything to a whole new level. And she's explaining how, yeah, she helps people to create their brand look, that signature look.

but she's working on them both inside and out when she's working with them. It's not just about having confidence on the outside, it's about having confidence on the inside. So as soon as she tells someone she's a fashion empowerment coach, I'm like, want to know more about this, right? The name in itself, you're like, what does that mean? Exactly. You get along great with her, yes. So it's really imperative, I think, as entrepreneurs for us to stand out and to be different.

So that's one of the reasons why I came up with authenticity strategist because I get that question. Okay, so what does that mean? Because it's different. It's not a traditional business strategist. The only reason I said authenticity strategist is because I want people to be true to their authentic self. And if you happen to be an introvert, rock your introvertness and rock it well. And don't feel like you are inferior to an extrovert.

because they are more popular. The United States is more of an extroverted type of country. Just be able to rock who you are out so you can truly be your authentic selves and have that positive energy and people can really feel that energy and your passion for whatever you have. what are you talking about? Yeah. And I want to dig into this a little bit more because you talk about how introverted women have these superpowers when it comes to running their own businesses. So I'm going to dig into that. We're going to talk about that just a little bit further.

after we come back after this quick message.

All right, welcome back to the Real Women Real Business podcast where we are speaking with Inga Fay, the authenticity strategist. Did I get that right? Yes. All right. So we're talking about she's got this whole sales process and system to help introverted entrepreneurs, accidental CEOs to embrace their true self, authentic self. And we're not talking about the buzzword authentic. We're talking about real, true authenticity. And you talk about how introverts actually

can use their introvertness as like a superpower. Tell me a little bit more about that. Well, think introverts are very good listeners in those. I won't say all, because it's not all, but I'll say most extroverts don't listen as well as introverts. I'll say it that way. And because we're very much a good listener, we can really hone in and ask different questions about what's going on with you based on whatever

you're trying to get to, whether it be weight loss or you trying to find something that really makes you feel confident with your fashion, or if you're working on a different business and you're working to find clients and not heavily relying on referrals. These are different things that you can listen to and be able to inquire about because you're really being empathetic and listening to the person more so than trying to be really boastful about your product or service.

You're taking what they, the problems that they have and then giving you the opportunity to kind of think through, marinate on it, and then come up with a solution that could be helping them to get to their next level. So I think it's really imperative when it comes to building a business in itself, because people want to feel seen, they want to feel heard, and they want to feel understood. So as an introvert, we can really give them that safe haven with us.

to have that opportunity to be heard, seen, and understood, and then give ⁓ a sensational type of solution that will help them get to their promised land. Well, it's interesting that you're saying that because I've spoken numerous times on this show about your message, your overall brand message, what you're putting out on social media, on your website, all of these things. And so often, are so feature-driven as opposed to benefits-driven. We're talking about all the things that we do.

And you're right, I think a lot of a lot of extroverts and we're not grouping up altogether. I'm an extrovert as well. But and I know this tendency of I have all these things that I need to make sure that I share with them. So I'm just waiting for like the right in for the next little tidbit that I've got in my head. Whereas the more time you spend listening, I have learned this over the years through all my business coaching, especially when I'm working with clients, they'll say something initially like I want to get your thoughts on this.

And immediately I go to an answer, like, hold on a second, let me start asking some questions, leading with a little bit more curiosity. And my initial knee jerk response of what I would have said is almost always different than the advice that I give or the way that we work through the challenge together based on additional questions that we pull out of them. If I just started with here's all the things I want to share with you, we're not actually going to get to the meat of anything and they're not going to have anything truly actionable to move on.

And so similarly, like you said, yeah, mean, in these initial conversations, especially people are dropping hints about where they could use some support, where they could use your help. Maybe it's not about them actually hiring you for whatever service it is that you offer or buying whatever product you have to sell. But maybe, like you said earlier, maybe there's an opportunity for some collaboration there. Maybe there's an opportunity to introduce them to someone else that you know.

or maybe they have someone they can introduce you to. mean, when we're making these connections, it shouldn't be specifically transactional, but when you're listening and thinking more about what can I do for you, you're able to pull out a deeper connection for sure. So I think that's really important. use it. Extroverts listen up because just because you're not an introvert doesn't mean you can't be taking these same sales, Texas. Absolutely. ⁓ So you've actually designed it's the authentic sales accelerator method. Yes.

in sort of simple terms. Can you explain this a little bit and how this helps? Sure. So the method starts off first and foremost with the mindset, because we know that that is how we see the world. And if our mindset is negative, then we're going to get those negative results. If our mindset is positive, then we're going to work more towards the positive side. We're going to more be like the glass is half full than the glass is half empty. It's just a whole different perspective. And that perspective is going to be what helps us

change the different things that we may need to change to level up our business and be more open to trying something new and not being so caught up in why did this, this and this and it didn't work. Well, maybe if we just tweaked it a little bit, you would get a better result, but you got to have the mindset for that because the mindset is what starts it. Then the mindset then contributes to our beliefs. And then what we believe is definitely going to contribute to how we act.

And at the end of the day, we got to act. I mean, we can't sit on our hands. We have to take some kind of action for us to make a change, to make something better than what it was. So mindset is definitely first and foremost. The second step is just centered around relationships. Similar to what I was talking about, that entrepreneurship is a team sport, that you want to be around some powerful, like-minded people.

that have really big dreams and are willing to do the work to get there. Because these type of people are the ones that are going to encourage you when you're having one of those days, which we always have ⁓ with the ebbs and flows of entrepreneurship. But having someone that you can really go to and be able to talk to about it, and they're gonna lift you up and encourage you and let you know that you can do it. And having a sense that you can also build that same type of relationship.

with your prospects will allow them to marinate on you. Because these days and times, and you guys, I'm hoping that you know this, people are not just gonna up and buy from you just because you said you were good. They're gonna look up Google reviews, they're going to ask folks about you, they're gonna look up all kinds of different things on you because they wanna know that when they spend money with you that you're gonna do what you said you're gonna do. So you have to build that trust factor. And I'm a firm believer that we,

are dating our collaboration partners as well as our prospects. And allow that time for them to really get to know us. Because I'm sure if any of you are in any kind of relationship, y'all didn't start today and marry or get with them the next day. I mean, it doesn't work that way. It's an evolution over time. And the same thing should happen in business relationships as well. And I think that is so key because I hear people often say, well, I...

I went to a networking event, but I didn't really like it. I didn't really get anything out of it. You know, I got a bunch of business cards, but no one really hired me for anything. OK, it's not a one and done. It's not. remember joining a networking group when I was first starting my first business and some of the connections that I made there. took us years to actually work together. These are all seeds that are being planted. Every connection that you make is a seed being planted. There are times where I connect with someone and we instantly can see there's a way to work together. There's a way that we can support each other.

Other times where there's a connection there, but we can't quite figure out what the path is to supporting each other. It doesn't mean we don't want to. It just means that that path isn't clear. There's a number of reasons why that path can be unclear. Sometimes it's just a matter of we know we're kind of in different things, but we like what the other person is doing. Is there way to make them overlap?

Other times it's a lack of clarity as to what I'm offering, what they're offering. If I'm not clear about my messaging, this again goes back to all that messaging and like you were talking with that introduction. If it's not clear about what you're doing and how it benefits someone else, it's really hard for someone to refer you. And I've actually got a colleague that I work with. He pushes me quite a bit in terms of my messaging. Sometimes I'm like, well.

if they've got this, this or this, and it makes sense for me to work with them, he's like, I'm still not getting it. I'm like, all right, let me refine that a little bit. Because in my head, it's crystal clear, right? It's always clear in your own head. Right. But you need friends like that. That's even more of a reason why you have to build those relationships. So you can have someone, you can have that relationship and know that I can go to this person and share my ideas with them. And they're going to give me honest feedback.

That is for my good. They're not trying to tear me down. That they're encouraging me and wanting to level me up so I can be that much better. So yeah. All these relationships. And I also understand that not everyone has the same level of support system in their life. But know that it exists out there. So if you're not finding it at home or in the connections that you currently have in your life, I'm not telling you to get rid of everyone. But you can go back and check out a previous episode where I talked about

letting go of the things that are no longer serving you because it might be a case of that. But even if it's not, it doesn't mean that you can't be making new connections that are going to support you and give you what you need. Yeah. So I apologize. I kind of interrupted your method. Okay. So the authentic sales accelerated method. What else is it? We talked about mindset. Yes. We talked about building those relationships. Yes. And then third, we're going to talk about nurturing, nurturing to convert. And the first thing I want to say is there's not a specific time limit.

I get that oftentimes, well, how long, how long will it take? Well, it's gonna take however long the customer thinks it needs to take, just like you described. You had some people that it took years for you guys to figure it out. When it comes to clients or even collaboration partners, they fall in three groups. The first group is gonna be cold. So if they're cold, yeah, it's gonna take a little bit longer than somebody that's warm, for sure. And then the hot, they're ready to go.

And typically the hot are about 3 % of the folks that you're talking to. So then it becomes, okay, you gotta be talking to several people. can't just be, I'm just talking to the same person and I'm waiting for her to do it. No, you gotta be interacting and meeting different people, networking, possibly doing a podcast, some kind of collaborative type of event.

following up with the people, checking in with the people, nourishing that relationship. And it goes on and on and on until it's time for you guys to actually work together. And it is going to show itself when it is time. But it's not something that is a one and done like you said earlier, Shawna. Yeah. But so someone listening to this as an introvert might be thinking, well, I don't want to be pestering someone. What does nurturing look like for someone who's afraid to do that initial outreach in the first place? Well.

As introverts, I know our happy place is written communication. So it could be a nurture sequence that you have for the collaborator or for the prospect where they're getting to know you. Maybe you're showing, you're sharing value add type of information for them. You're getting to know them. You may even add them to, they may be a podcast guest for you where you all can interact more.

If you didn't want to do a podcast, maybe you did more of a blog interview where if that's your happy place and maybe that's their happy place, but it allows you to still be able to connect and build that relationship. So it's, just nurturing folks in your happy mode of communication. Another thing is maybe just going to coffee as introverts. We do very well with one-on-one type of interactions.

So maybe you don't necessarily, maybe you've done the ⁓ written interaction, you decide, okay, well, why don't we meet for coffee if you're local or do a virtual coffee via Zoom if you're not. But again, it's still building that relationship over time and not just thinking that this is gonna be like you described earlier. I went to a networking event and I didn't get any sales. Well, you're not supposed to get any sales. Unless they were just waiting to hear what you had to say, then, you know, not.

They didn't go there to buy either. They weren't going there with the, I can't wait to buy something tonight. It still, could happen. Don't get me wrong. could for sure. Absolutely. But it's more the upset exception than it is the rule. Because like I said earlier, it's about 3 % of the people that ⁓ want your product or service. So if you're talking to a hundred, you may find three people that are ready to buy from you today. But that's where you, that's where the, the interactions and making sure that you're talking to enough people come in.

But again, thinking them as humans, not as this is number 101 type of person. Because people can feel that energy. Yeah, for sure. Well, it's funny as you're talking to, can't help but envisioning some of my introverted clients, for example. And one in particular that I'm thinking of, she's always like, well, I'll take them out for coffee. That's kind of her go-to. I'll take them out for coffee. And it's funny that you're saying that that is something that an introvert feels most comfortable doing. And I remember this particular client I'd given her

the task of doing some market research when we were making some changes to her services that she offers. And so I said, you know, you're going to set up a call. You're not just going to cold call anyone. You're to set up a call with some of your existing clients. You're to have these questions for her. And her biggest thing was just agonizing over the questions. And she like memorized them, went over them like 16 times.

And I kept telling her, said, you're not going to follow those questions exactly. I gave her the template for creating the questions. So one of the things that I have, of course, is the template for here is standard market research questions. But you're not going to follow it exactly. But she still wanted to practice it several times over. And then, of course, afterwards, she's like, yeah, you're right. I didn't follow the questions. And that's not the point, though. The point is, because of her being introverted, going back to what you were talking early about preparing, she needed to have those questions. She needed to know that if she got stuck, she has

Exactly. haven. That's right. had her safe haven. Exactly. So it's interesting as you're talking about all these things, it's just it's hitting home like yes, yes, yes, this all makes sense with all of the introverts that I know. And like said, I'm definitely more extroverted, but I will say like I do a lot of conference events, a lot of public speaking, and I love them. I love, love, love them when I'm there. But I do have to even as an extrovert plan for time to recharge in between because it does take a lot of energy. Oh, it does. And so

Even if you're listening to this and you're an extrovert, you're thinking, well, I need to recharge too. Yeah, absolutely you do. I think that's just human nature. We want to be able to give our best when we are out with other people, but we need to make sure that we've got something in the tanks for ourselves still as well. For sure. For sure. And then with that said, that sounds more to me like an amnovert. And an amnovert has a little, has some of both.

Ooh, this is a new term I've never heard before. Tell me more about this. Yeah, so an amnivert can be an extrovert. They can go out and do the presentation, give all the energy, but then after they finish, they need to go home and recharge. So that exists too. just so everyone listening will know, there are basically four types of introverts. And for the most part, everybody is not just one of the four, they're a mixture of the four.

So interesting. Yeah. So the first one is a social introvert. they're, they'll be the one that can stand in front of a crowd and talk and have no problem doing that. They can get on a video or podcast and be fine doing that. The second one was be the thinking introvert. They're pondering. That's probably the person you see with the resting face. Typically if they're sitting by themselves and you're thinking that they're mad, but they're really just thinking they got a lot going on in their head and they have a pad or something to be able to write everything down.

Then you have the anxious introvert. Now this is the person that typically people think about when they think about introverts will be an antisocial. They're really kind of reserved to themselves. ⁓ It takes a lot out of them to interact with people openly. So it would really, you really literally have to push them out of their comfort zone if they have a lot more of the anxious introvert in them. And then the restrained, they're really wanting to be more of a loner. So again, it's the STAR method.

what I just described to you, but for the most part, introverts have a little bit of all four of those, just depending on the situation in the day. Oh, that's interesting. Thank you for sharing that. That's really important. I think for people to know that we're not just putting all the introverts into one box, but also that they themselves can range between these different ones that have to take a little bit from all the different categories. So how do you help your clients find that balance? You talked to just a moment ago about being able to push outside their comfort zone, which we.

We already know like as much as we're telling the introverts that, yes, we want you to stay authentic to who you are. We want you to honor your superpowers that come with being introverted. We also need you to push beyond your comfort zone. And that's true for every entrepreneur. But how do you help them to find that balance between pushing beyond their comfort zone and staying true to their introverted nature? Right. ⁓ It's a little step by step process. For example, I remember I was talking to a client.

and she wanted to be more social when she was just out and about. So one of the things that I had recommended that she do is when you see somebody and you make eye contact with them, just make eye contact with them. Okay, so you've made eye contact with them. So that's the first step. Okay, so that's good. You didn't have to say anything, but you just did that. All right, so the next thing is you make eye contact with them and you smile. So then if somebody smiles at you, they may even say something to you because you smiled at them.

So it's a way of getting the conversation going. After that, you've made contact, you've eye contact, you've smiled, maybe you can say hello, right? Just again, just a little step-by-step process that's iterative, that's going to allow them that each time they do, each time they try something out is making them a step out just a little bit further. And then as they continue to do that over time, it will allow them to really be able to do an interview like this.

but then be able to have to recharge when they get off. Of course, yeah. But it's an evolution. So it starts off with first and foremost, you have to act. When you act, you got to realize that you're probably going to suck because this is something you're doing new, right? And then after you suck, you realize, OK, well, can just tweak it. That's how we get better. I'm going tweak it. And then I'm going to repeat the process all over again. And you just continuously work on that.

And that's all eventually will get you out of your shell and then be able to talk to people and interact with people the way you would like to. And, you know, give speeches, be able to talk about things. I know for a fact that introverts, if they're really passionate about it, they're going to step out. They're going to say their piece. But then after they say their piece, they'll, they'll definitely have to be by themselves to recharge. But again, just giving you the opportunity to act, suck, tweak and repeat.

And if you're listening to this too and someone at the grocery store next week makes eye contact with you and then looks a little shy and then maybe smiles at you like, you know, give let's offer a little bit of grace to them and be warm and welcoming as well. It's something that, you know, I often say. So one of the things for me whenever I'm out somewhere, I'm constantly being stopped for people to comment on my hair. This is it's it's pretty common. It's actually really funny. One of my close friends, she has beautiful hair. We travel together quite often.

And she used to get a lot more compliments and then she started hanging out with me. And like, not that my hair is nicer than hers. It's that mine is more statement. It's very different. People want to comment on it. But here's the thing, despite that I might hear this, if I'm outside of my house, I could easily hear this a dozen times in a day. Every single person who takes a moment to say something nice about any feature of me, anything nice.

I make sure that I thank them in the most authentic way as well. That like, I'm not acting like this is the 12th time I've heard that today because that person, I have no idea what it might've taken for that person to say something. That's right. That's right. And every time we're interacting with people, think that we, I think we've lost a little bit of that. And I think COVID did it as well. During COVID, a lot of times when we left the house, it was keep your eyes down, don't look at anyone, don't breathe on anyone, don't do anything. You're right.

This level of uncertainty, like we can laugh about it now, but the reality is like looking back on it, know, hindsight really is 2020. We can look back on things and say, I can't believe I was being that extreme or whatever. But at the time we didn't know better. So, you know, we there was a lot of interacting with people out in public felt scary. Like you were afraid if you smiled at them, they might get too close to you or or whatever. So I feel as though since then we've kind of become a little less social with strangers, for lack of a better way of putting it.

So I love when I can interact with other people. I am that person that annoys the heck out of my friends because I'm going to strike up a conversation with whoever is in line ahead of me, behind me, all around me, whatever. That is definitely my style. But I understand that's not everyone. And sometimes, you know, anything we can do to help make that more comfortable for them. So I love that you're explaining sort of this is this is how to go beyond your comfort zone. But also, if you are already comfortable in that realm, let's make it.

that much more comfortable for the people who maybe aren't. Yeah. Someone else is going through the journey of trying to be more comfortable. makes me think about when I made my first video and I did it in my car because I didn't have a ring light and I made sure that I was facing the sun so it could be completely on me. So it'd be a nice picture. And I remember all the trials and tribulations I went through. I can't do this. I don't know if I can do this. What am I going to say? And it was just the

the mere fact that I did it the first time, it was just like, well, man, that wasn't that bad. was hyping this up and making it something that it wasn't. And it was just like, I can do this. So then I decided to do it again. And then it got better. And then I was really excited about that second time. But then somebody pulled up next to me and you could hear the door close. And I was just like, oh, I can't do it. I can't leave it like that because I didn't know how to edit at that time. But then the third time, was just like,

my personality came out and everything. And it was just like, wow. And I was holding that back because I was so scared of doing it. Just on the other side, just try it. And that's one of the things that I encourage in my building authentic relationships and business webinar is for people to step out and being able to truly connect with people. Because people want to connect. Just like you said, we went through this time in COVID where we weren't connecting. know, people felt so alone.

And now that we're over that, I guess we're over it because the people are still getting COVID. But anyway, that's another topic in itself. yeah, making it a point to really be human and treating people like humans and really getting involved, like somebody mentioning something about your hair, ⁓ Shauna Lynn, that's making you feel seen. They saw you. know, ⁓ making a comment about what somebody is wearing, giving them a sincere compliment, but not following it up with, by the way,

My product or service can do this wet XYZ. But really a true sincere comment is really what it's all about. And in my coaching program, that's what I love about it is that we're able to be in a like-minded group of people that are positive, that have really big dreams and want people to hold them accountable. Because I have a DIY course that I do, ⁓

Oftentimes those people don't follow through. It's like I look at my DIY course numbers and you know, people start and then they stop because they don't have the accountability in the, ⁓ in the DIY course as they have in the group coaching or even the one-on-one coaching I have, because on the one-on-one is me. You told me last week that you were going to do X, Y, and Z. Well, this week you haven't done it and you know, it's easy for us to let

ourselves off the hook. Well, I was tired. My kids had this going on and all that. But when you come with somebody else, we're not going to let you off the hook. We like, you me you were going to do this. You didn't do it. You know, or be if you want that camaraderie of having others that are going through the path with you. The group coaching is really good in that sense, where we have that co-working.

opportunity where you can actually get work done. know, people say, I'm so glad we got this co-working because I don't think I would have got this done if I wasn't in this co-working setup. Or being able to have Q &A where people are asking questions that you may not even have thought of. And then because they asked it, you take it up another notch and are better to have a better understanding because of the question that they asked.

Just all of that, just working in connection with each other and really holding each other accountable, I think is just so important. And I'm sure you have that same experience with your community and tribe as well, Shauna Lynn. Absolutely, it's so true. And like we said earlier, if you don't have that support system already in your direct inner circle, expand because they exist. It's just a matter of finding your people, but you really are.

a reflection of the people that you surround yourself with. So if you want to improve, you need to surround yourself with those people. So you actually have a free monthly webinar. called Building Authentic Relationships in Business for Introverted Entrepreneurs. So if anyone's listening to this, like, I'm going to need a little bit more. This occurs every fourth Tuesday of the month. Is that right? That's right. And where can people find this?

Yeah, we, it's on my website. If you go to my website, Ingafay.com that's I-N-G-A, F as in N-Frank-A-Y.com. Go to the events tab. It's right there. It says building authentic relationships and business. We have a sign up. You got to register to be a part of it. ⁓ and we meet and I'm, sharing different ideas, like what we talked about today and helping people really expand their interactions with folks.

and not feel like they have to be salesy to make a sales or do this traditional bro marketing type of concept to be super salesy and pushy and make people feel like they have to buy from you. Because a lot of that, if they do buy from you, they'll buy from you one time, then they never see you again. They're not building the relationship. Not at all. you want to, even to build a stabilized business, you want that reoccurring income.

having folks to buy from you over and over again and then be that super cheerleader and tell their friends and family about you too. I mean, that's how you stabilize your income. I'm not happy to go out and find new people all the time. You'll be running yourself ragged and want to get a job. Exactly. It is easier to sell to existing clients than it is to find new ones. So, and that doesn't necessarily mean you're literally selling to them specifically, but within their circle, like having them refer you or what and whatnot. So.

This has been fantastic. So if someone listening to this today, whether they're an introvert or an extrovert or any variation of these, if there's one thing that they can take away from today's episode, what do you hope that is? I hope that they take away just to act. I think sometimes as introverts, we get so much in our head and probably just people in general. I won't just make it just us. Yes. We get so caught up in the what if and I'm not sure.

And you know what to do. And even if it's wrong, you just tweak it. Just like I was telling you before, you're gonna suck when you start. I mean, just know you're not gonna be the bomb.com. was a, every master was a disaster in the beginning. And just own that and know that, know, okay, I suck right now, but the only way I'm gonna get better is to keep doing it. being around people that are encouraging me to keep doing it and not tearing me down for whatever reason. So.

It would just really be just to take action. Continue to take action and surround yourself around people that are gonna support your dream and not tear it up. So perfectly said. Thank you so much. Inga, I cannot thank you enough for sharing your insights today. This has been such a great conversation. Thank you so much. Yes, thank you for having me, Shauna Lynn It's truly been my pleasure. And listen, if you're listening to this episode, what we're saying here today is resonating with you.

Be sure to check out Inga's website, ingafay.com as she mentioned, and check out that webinar that she has every month. And don't forget to tune in, of course, each and every week. We drop new episodes every Tuesday morning at 7 a.m. Eastern time. So I hope that you will continue to allow me to be a part of this journey with you. Don't forget to leave us a review and subscribe to us wherever you get your podcasts. And until next time, keep thriving. Bye for now.